The Art of Life ~ Creating through Chaos

Last night as I was sleeping, I dreamt that I had a beehive within my heart, and the golden bees were making white combs and sweet honey from all of my bitter disappointments.
~ Antonio Machado

There is an Art to Life and living if we Learn how to Live it the right way, from the inside out instead of from the outside in.  It requires the willingness to open our mind and heart to our own unique, Creative Gifts.  But, more importantly, it allows us the Freedom to detach ourselves from the matrix of boxes and squares and find that the Gift of Creation is actually Beautifully chaotic.  We become attached to all kinds of unhealthy ideas of what we think we need to be happy but if we look deep withIN we find that what we think we need is mostly of a material, addictive, and external nature.  Everything is upside down in the Beautifully chaotic rabbit hole and we often perceive this chaos as our Lives “falling apart”.

The Rabbit Hole

download (1)There’s terms for this state of being and several come to mind – rock bottom, identity crisis, coming of age, depression, and/or finding the Spirit withIN (which will crack you wide open but that’s another article).  What we learn about Love is backwards in most cases which is ironic because we ARE Love, in its purest form.  The catch, the experiment if you will, was and is to truly find out what it means to be separate and opposite of our true nature which is Love.  The polarity is that Love and hate (fear) are like oil and water so when they interact on an energetic and emotional level we find the chaos, the allergic reaction if you will.  This the dark place, the inky black energy of the Aether, and the rock bottom.  But, it’s also the biggest Gift and our greatest opportunity to find a Creative “spark”…the way “out”.

Even in our darkest and most painful hour, we always have a choice.  It’s just harder to make that choice when we are in an emotional state of change because change can feel like we’re losing something.  To take it a step further, this dying off of the old to make room for the new can sometimes give us the perception of feeling like we can’t go on but it’s really the stale and toxic energy dying, not our Life Force!  But, it so happens that we all have fears and when we go into fear we become less clear on what it is we’re looking for.  From there….well, pack your bag because it’s time to take a trip and this trip is no vacation rather a tumultuous and bumpy ride ultimately leading you to the very same destination!  So, we have to ask ourselves, do we want to take the private jet or pull the rickshaw with all its baggage to get where we need to go?

Emotions don’t make sense all the time.  It doesn’t matter “why?” because we all have our own unique and creative way of processing, perceiving, and evaluating our own experiences.  The best recipe for emotional chaos is to simplify which ultimately brings us to our own objectivity.  We can simplify our emotions into 2 categories, Love or fear.  If you’re not feeling well this will simply tell you everything you need to know.  It means it’s time to clear out the suitcase and make room for something new, something Good – even if it feels upside down (you’re in the rabbit hole, remember?).

The Big Move

Article-4-Hoarding-The-Art-Of-Letting-Go-Photo-1First, it helps to know that we’ve done this before even if we forgot how.  But, when we’re Creating we’re also changing, morphing, evolving, and moving energy – the emotional kind of energy that comes with great weight which is why it’s called EnLightenment.  We’re Lightening our emotional load and unpacking our emotional baggage in order to replace it with more of what our Heart and Soul essence is searching for…. the longing for change and the fear that comes with it.  My son used to say “it’s bark” when he was little instead of voicing the dark but it exists and we have to not only face it but go through it.  Don’t be scared, though, because the darkness is also the Aether which is the spiritual energy of Creation.  The Aehter is the “place” where Miracles are born, Lives are forever changed, and something can come from “nothing”.  The nothingness is still energy because there is no such thing as nothing.  For example, if we make a decision to wait or stand still it’s still a decision, even if it’s temporary.  In the Heartfelt stillness we find the Creative spark we need to set our Universe Afire giving permission for those around us to do the same.  To make the big move we have to realize that it’s a 2 step process.  First, we find the fearful energy looking to be released, and most of us have an awareness of our fears even if we’re unsure how to process them and/or persuade then to move out.  The key is realizing that we need something to replace the fear with and this is the process that we don’t necessarily like so much because it’s uncomfortable at best.

The reason it’s so hard to move is because we don’t always support the Universe in supporting us by focusing on the “what if’s” instead of the Miracles.  Due to societal, familial, and/or religious perceptions we tend to focus on what we can’t do instead of what we can, what can go wrong instead of what can go right, and what other people think instead of listening to the beat of our own Heart.  If we stand still we think we’re doing something “wrong” but it takes great Courage, discipline, and a unique kind of “energy” to be patient and wait for the answers to come instead of fearfully grasping at straws just to make a decision, even if it’s the wrong decision.  We’re creatures of habit and instant gratification forgetting often that we are Infinite BEings.  This is where we get “stuck” going round and round trying to solve fearful problems with the same mentality that created them…more fear.  Solving fear with fear is the proverbial insanity of banging our heads against the wall until we have a “concussion” and can’t think straight at all anymore.

Grab a Pallette

Our rock bottom, uncomfortable,  rage of discontentment is ultimately telling us everything we need to know about what’s not “working” in our Lives.  We may not like what we see when we look in the mirror at some of the fearful, desperate decisions we’ve made but to undo the “damage” we have to go through the darkness in order to see the Light.  The pain of our discontent and anger is the perfect indicator that we are settling for less than what our Heart is telling us we are Worthy of, withIN and without.  We may not like the landscape or the paint we’ve thrown on the canvas but we can change it, move it, enhance it, and color it in.  When we survive our “mistakes” we find we long for a more Joyful, meaningful, enriching, experiential kind of Life that is almost impossible to find as long as we’re thinking that what we want for ourselves is out of our reach.  And, let’s be honest, our demons aren’t very easy to look at which is why they like to lurk just beyond the periphery of our vision.  The ego operates like a secret agent in stealth mode invoking the turbulence of our fear.  But, we have something the “ego” doesn’t – we have our Light.  Darkness is only a blank canvass and the absence of color.  Our Light contains every color imaginable, every possible outcome, and every Loving relationship we ever hope to attract.

Creating something *NEW* is the best way to release emotional baggage and re-color our Lives into something we can’t wait to look at in the mirror.  Life is supposed to be FUN and rewarding, especially when we make the choice to embody our Art of Life and all its endless, beautifully chaotic possibilities.  When we release our fears and Listen to our Heart we find our Gifts withIN – the color, the magic, the eye of the photographer, the voice of an angel, the dancer in all her Grace and Beauty, the yogi who knows stillness is a feat, the words to uplift and empower, the essence of our very BEing.  The Dreamer’s dream comes to Life before our very eyes and it mirrors back to us all that we truly are.  Beautiful Beings of Light and Love who have the power to transcend every dark and fearful thing with our unique and colorful Creator spark in the darkness of the Aether.

Music to drive it Home: Keep Your Head Up ~ Andy Grammer

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

Empathy and Ubuntu ~ a Philosophy for a New Humanity

Ubuntu-Empathy-the-New-Paradigm-for-HumanityBy Jennifer Deisher

Contributing Writer for Wake Up World

Here we are on our beautiful blue green planet, travelling through time and space, hurtling toward infinity. Whether we realize it or not, we are united by our humanity.

As we each begin to flow into our spiritual journey, we become aware of a consciousness beyond our rational 3D comprehension. We begin to question everything we think we know about life and reality. We de-construct the illusions around us, and come to a new understanding of our place in the universe and beyond. And this new awareness is both liberating and extremely confronting, all at the same time.

Perhaps things are not quite what they seem.

The Hierarchy of Needs

We can understand our most basic human needs, and also our higher spiritual needs, through the psychological tool known as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs [i]. The bottom of the triangle represents our most basic physiological needs and the top represents our own Self-actualization or Self-awareness (which, not surprisingly, is represented by the “all-seeing eye” at the top of the proverbial pyramid.

A common belief is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and that our full potential is realized through the practices of love and empathy, and the Ubuntu philosophy. And that’s true! But we can’t ever forget that we are also human too. We have simple biological and emotional needs – such as food, water, and a sense of safety – that must be met in order for our very survival, and although there are a handful of spiritual ‘leaders’ in history who were synonymous with fasting and poverty, for most of us, we can’t even begin to understand our potential for Self-actualization or Ascension until those basic needs are met.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

So as messengers of a new paradigm, our challenge is not just to focus on the development of ‘higher’ personal aspects such as creativity, self-esteem and self-love, but to embrace and support those whose basic (and therefore spiritual) needs are not fulfilled, and help them create the sense of security and belonging they need as stepping stones to self-actualization.

Rainbow Day of Love

My friend, Deb Augenbaugh, decided to do just that when she recently started the non-profit organization Rainbow Day of Love to help feed the homeless population in her home town of Denver, Colorado. My husband, Aaron, and I had the honor of volunteering with her start-up organization this summer, and what we learned was a real lesson on our spiritual journey.

We came out on a Sunday morning to serve breakfast and as soon as breakfast was finished the group immediately formed another line for the next meal. Lesson #1: The sense of insecurity associated with unfulfilled physiological needs is ever-present, and does not go away with just one full belly. The tragedy of this situation is that these peoples’ lives are being spent trying to provide for their most basic physiological needs – quite symbolically, at the very bottom of the pyramid. In other words, they spend the whole day meeting the physiological needs of food, water, and shelter, while the rest of us take such necessities for granted and, as a society, waste the very resources these people so desperately need access to.

That Sunday morning, we struck up a chat with some people after breakfast and heard so many personal stories – war veterans, parents, college graduates – all who have experienced great hardship but are still living to tell their stories. Lesson #2: Survival instincts are hard-wired into our biology, including own need for safety. We each share the same primal instinct to live, and it’s a most natural response to do what we need to do in challenging circumstances in order to meet our most basic physiological needs. And although we may at one time be surrounded by friendship, safety and self-confidence in our lives, our physiological and safety needs that begin to go unfulfilled (whatever the circumstances) directly impact our sense of self and belonging.

Lesson #3: When we let people know that they are valued with something as simple as as smile or a hug or a question, the uplifting affect that loving connection has on their life-force (and yours) is both visible and immediate, sending ripples out into conscious universe.

A Collective Problem

As spiritual messengers and spiritual beings, we cannot speak of empathy if we are seemingly at a level of Self-actualization looking “down” at the reality of others, and dismissing their difficult experience as “creating their own reality”. But in truth, this limited perception is not based on reason or actual experience. We are ALL creating our own reality – and that creation includes a social hierarchy which is competitive by design, and therefore exclusive (to some) by result. If we – humanity – are to ascend to a new way of living, the only way to do that is TOGETHER. And yet our collective tendency is ignore their situation, and in big cities, even step over them in the street. We look to governments to “solve the unemployment problem”, which is an inherent part of our economic structure, and moan about the takers from the “welfare state”.

Not exactly conducive to a sense of safety and belonging, is it?

In reality, the majority of people living in poverty are – like the rest of us – incredibly intelligent, talented, creative and often educated people who have contributed to society, and who today are forced to use their talents and creativity just to sustain life; to survive. And that’s part of the “tragedy” – with basic needs met, their intelligence and creativity could be an amazing asset to our society! But while our society’s focus remains competitive not communal, a sense of belonging and self-realization takes a back-seat to the necessities of life for many people, and our spiritual life-force continues to vibrate on “survival” mode. While people are held by poverty at this base level of awareness, there is little room in their reality for other forms of safety, love, esteem, or self-actualization.

As enlightened beings, we have to be willing to see through the rationalizations of “the homeless problem” and our fears and misconceptions of “the homeless”, and begin to see that they too are spiritual beings who are desperately in need of our love, understanding and support.

The Empathy Card

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Science is finally beginning to understand what many of us have always known; that we humans are soft wired with empathy [ii]. It’s in our genetics. When we say “soft wired” it means that it isn’t a reflex like a knee jerk or a flight-fight response, rather it’s up to us to consciously exercise and utilize our empathy ‘muscle’ so we can gain a better understanding of our collective journey.

The second of the Seven Universal Laws, the immutable Law of Correspondence, tells us “As above, so below; as below, so above”. [iii] This means that we have an individual journey and a collective journey, and they are interconnected and correspond with one another in infinite synchronicity; that our outer world reflects to us our inner world; that what we choose within, we choose without.

Will you choose empathy and compassion? Or judgment and inaction?

We cannot consider ourselves a compassionate, intelligent, creative race of people until we change our relationship with homelessness and poverty in our society, and on our planet. There is certainly plenty to go around. According to http://www.worldhunger.org [iv]

The world produces enough food to feed everyone. World agriculture produces 17 percent more calories per person today than it did 30 years ago, despite a 70 percent population increase. This is enough to provide everyone in the world with at least 2,720 kilocalories (kcal) per person per day  according to the most recent estimate that we could find (FAO 2002, p.9). The principal problem is that many people in the world do not have sufficient land to grow, or income to purchase, enough food.

Harmful economic systems are the principal cause of poverty and hunger… Essentially control over resources and income is based on military, political and economic power that typically ends up in the hands of a minority, who live well, while those at the bottom barely survive, if they do.

As we confront the reality of increasingly harmful economic systems and government priorities, the social and spiritual inequity embedded in our social systems can seem near-impossible to overcome.

But it isn’t.

Real, lasting social change begins as an impossible creative spark in our hearts and minds, and manifests in our society from the ground up.

not-yet

Don’t Believe It’s Possible?

For those who believe homelessness is an unsolvable inevitability, take note. Since 2005, Utah has reduced homelessness by 74 percent and is on-track to end homelessness by 2015. [v]

How did they do this? Simple. They gave homeless people homes.

Why? Because it makes good sense, even in our competitive economy-driven society.

The obvious benefit is that, by satisfying the physiological and safety needs of marginalized people, they can begin to focus on ‘higher’ needs and rebuild their sense of esteem and belonging. But from a purely economic standpoint, providing permanent housing for the homeless is not only more humane than our system of competition and criminalization – it’s cheaper. [vi]

Utah policy makers realized that the annual cost of hospital and prison stays for homeless people was around $16,670 per person, compared to $11,000 annually to provide each homeless person with an apartment and a social worker. So the state of Utah addressed the basis of homelessness by giving away apartments, and assigning case-workers, as part of the state’s new Housing First program. As a result, Utah is saving money overall, while allowing all residence access to shelter and safety, a place from which other needs can begin to be met.

So far, the program has proven so successful that other states are modelling future programs on Utah’s success… and all it took was some clear, creative and compassionate thinking.

The Essence of Ubuntu

Ubuntu is a philosophy originating in Southern African that means literally “human-ness” or “humanity”. The term is used to represent a humanist philosophy or ideology, known as Ubuntuism, which is based on the universal bond of sharing that connects all of humanity. In our society, which institutionalizes competition instead of co-operation, this idea can seem like quite a paradigm shift. But Ubuntu is more than just a lovely idea, it is the communal foundation on which many cultures are built, ensuring the base needs of all individuals are met and freeing them up to pursue ‘higher’ needs of creativity, problem solving and self-realization.

As consciously evolving beings, we understand that we lift ourselves by lifting others, and that we can’t begin to uplift our world and our planet if we are personally unwilling to empathize with and empower the people who are most marginalized, and whose connection to Self and Source is most hampered by circumstance. When we add the Ubuntu philosophy into the mix, along with our pyramid of needs, we see the much bigger picture. It is about more than just empathy from afar. Instead of just looking at our reality from our individual, albeit empathetic perspective, we must acknowledge our connectedness – that “I am because we are” – and be guided by that knowledge into actions that reflect it back to us. “As above, so below”.

I came across this quote from Shakespeare the other day which says it perfectly: “Fatigue makes cowards of us all”.

We have been riding this wave of ascension for some time now, shining light into the shadows… and many of us are tired. But now isn’t the time to rest. Our collective awareness is expanding, and momentum is gathering.

When you feel that fatigue, look for motivation to those living lives of poverty and uncertainty, whose entire being revolves around providing their most basic needs for survival – and consider the kind of fatigue that comes with that. When you feel that tired feeling that all “conscious warriors” feel at one time or another, remember that “I am because we are”… remember the power you have to generate positive ripples of change, starting with your immediate world… remember that the spiritual ascension of humanity is a collective process… and remember that we don’t just begin to heal others through altruism, we begin to heal our society as well as those pieces of our Self that are asking to be seen through our mirror of experience.

Then, from this compassionate and open place, we can begin to find new ways to fulfill, uplift, and inspire one another – to “enlighten” each other in the truest sense. We can begin to hear each other and meet each other’s gaze, get to know what makes each other tick. We can begin to fulfill each other’s most basic, fundamental, physiological needs, and ultimately overcome the unnecessary suffering of poverty and homelessness – without waiting for our failing, unprincipled governments to do it for us.

So, next time your paths cross with a brother or sister in need, it may be time to see if you can get to know them a little better, and see what makes them tick. Homeless people don’t need our advice on how to get a job; they need food and safety, and a connection to others – the very first steps toward self-realization. But more importantly, they (and we) need a new social system; one that reflects our human oneness and better serves and reflects our commUnity. And in creating that new social model, the perspective of those homeless and disenfranchised people who live on the edges of our current system is invaluable.

We all have a very significant role to play in the conscious evolution of our planet. We have the capacity to break the pattern of our “reality” as we know it, and leave a legacy of love and inclusion for our children, and their children. But first, we must change the way humanity feels about itself, and to do that, we must be able to look ourselves in the mirror and see our shared humanity reflected back at us.

References:

[i] ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs’ is a theory proposed by psychologist Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper “A Theory of Human Motivation“.

[ii] Ted Talks: “Jeremy Rifkin on the Empathic Civilization

[iii] Tania Kotsos: “The Seven Universal Laws Explained

[iv] http://www.worldhunger.org: “World Hunger Facts

[v] http://www.nationswell.com: “Utah Is on Track to End Homelessness by 2015 With This One Simple Idea

[vi] “Homes Not Handcuffs: The Criminalization of Homelessness in U.S. Cities” – a Report by The National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty and The National Coalition for the Homeless

 

This article adapted for Wake Up World by Andy Whiteley.

Basketweaving 101~ Weaving Happiness into our Vibration

basketweaving

Happiness is a factor of Life and one well worth striving for.  It’s a necessary component for us to completely embark on a spiritual path.  Our heart, soul, and spirit don’t live in the energy of “not good enough”, or where there isn’t enough time, or in our negative energy.  Let’s face it, some of us have had our fair share of addiction, trauma, and tragedy.  Those who have experienced some of the more “hard core” issues, or are currently working through them, may find that sometimes we have to work a little harder to find our Joy.

Many of us have experienced the fallout of what we sometimes call “the matrix”.  I prefer to think of it as limited patterns of controlling behavior which constricts our true power as creators because we think we have a limited amount of choices.  What we forget sometimes is that we actually have to learn or re-learn how to be Happy.  Many people are experiencing spiritual awakening or are in a deep emotional process of acceptance and release, or both.  The key is realizing that it doesn’t all just happen overnight.  We (typically) don’t just wake up to a massive pot of gold at the end of a rainbow one sunny morning, especially if we’ve had trauma, abuse, or addiction in our past.  Basically, happiness is a more natural state of being.  But, when we learn “misery” and limitation in its place, it also makes sense that we may have to learn how to be happy again.  To go even further, we may have to learn how to be happy for the very first time…ever!

Our fears, traumas, abuse, and addictions leave us feeling pretty crappy – it’s true.  It’s not necessarily something we embrace in the spiritual community of “love and light” but it doesn’t make the emotion any less real.  Sometimes the crappy feeling takes over our mind and body to such an extent that it takes great heart and soul effort to overcome them in an emotionally healthy way.  We all have (what we’ll call) “baskets” that we use for our emotions but this can also be detrimental to our recovery if we have one basket in which we place all of our emotions.  For example, if someone has an addiction which has had a very negative effect on their life, they may have an emotional basket labeled “addiction”.  Even when the person has freed themselves from their addiction they continue to carry around the addiction basket.  The anonymous programming of organizations like AA encourage people to carry this addiction basket around with them every day and it then becomes a foundation for all of the emotional baggage in life.  That means that whenever something feels off or wrong in life we can always put it in the “addiction” basket even though “what’s wrong” may have nothing to do with the addiction.  One day we wake up and find that we have chronically created a scapegoat for all that is wrong in our world and we’ve managed to fit it into one (very limited) “basket”.  The basket could be an abusive parent, an untrustworthy relationship, a deep seated fear, or even a financial “issue”.  From there, we tend to take everything we view as being “wrong” and put it into our trauma basket thereby giving our power away to our perception of this one issue as we continue to let it control our lives via our “negative” (uncomfortable) emotions.

d0d04af17343092ca6a5e4a9d15a4ac5Once we have created a basket for our negative experiences, it becomes a habitual pattern to continue to pile more negative experiences into our trauma basket.  What we sometimes fail to understand is that when we are constantly in a place of re-living our negative experiences we are also, however inadvertently, creating more negative experiences.  From here, it gets a little more difficult to find acceptance until we lay down our basket or weave a new one.  It helps to recognize that happiness is actually a learned behavior.  If we’ve been taught in some way to be miserable we can also learn how to be happy instead.  First of all, the fears, traumas, addiction, abandonment, etc. will still be there for a “minute” – regardless of whether or not we choose to focus on it.  It’s a part of our life experience so it never fully “leaves” us but our perception of it, the emotions around it, and whether or not we chose to let it define us can change, will change… if we allow it.  When we’re in the process of Healing from our afflictions, we are really coming to a place of learning to validate and appreciate those feelings which sees us not able to run away from them.  We actually have to allow ourselves to grieve in a healthy way but the emotions may cause us to have looping thoughts that revolve around our basket of misery.  This is when neuroplasticity or changing our mental focus plays a great role in overcoming traumatic experiences in order to Heal.  In these situations we have to learn to focus on our mental focus and find a way to weave happy, loving, blissful experiences into our basket at the same time.  Sometimes we find ourselves having to reach for these Happy experiences because we may not have very many of them or we forgot how it feels to be in a peaceful emotional place.  However, if we focus on happy experiences (past, present, or future) it takes us away from the tunnel vision of solely focusing on the trauma.

When we re-live our negative, addictive, traumatic experiences over and over again we have a harder time “snapping out of it” so to speak.  That’s not to say the issues aren’t real but we also have to focus on more positive experiences first before we begin to see them manifest into our physical reality.  At the same time, when we’re so deeply focused on the trauma we may not see any positivity in our lives even though it may be there in force.  What that ultimately comes down to is what we choose to focus on, our perspective, and whether we’re placing emphasis on a loving, positive, happy perspective or we place our spotlight on the fear, anxiety, and tragedy of the trauma.  This is the part we have to “work” at because our patterned emotions also want to remain, almost like its own “parasitic” energy.  It (truly) takes work to re-train our mental focus, especially when we are uncomfortable in our mind, body, and spirit.  This is where neuroplasticity comes in or “focus on our mental focus”.

60526c9a725effaf3c418ed87a24fc30In my article, Quantum Mechanics of the Soul, I wrote about behavioral patterns and how our awareness of our own patterns changes how we interact with them.  This means that just by being aware of our trauma basket we can begin to change how it affects us.   Therefore, our conscious awareness of the “problem” shows the Universe our intention of Healing from said “problem” which is the first step in the process, recognition.  From here we can begin to consciously interact with the emotions which is when we can shake them out and put them back again in a more positive way.  We’ve also determined that some of us have to “work” a little harder to find those happy, lighter, more loving emotions.  And, that’s okay – actually VERY normal when we are in “distress”!  A great way focus on our mental focus is an exercise I call “Emotional Imagination”.  We’re quite used to hearing that “thoughts create things” and that’s true….to an extent.  The real key to creating with the Law of Attraction is using our Emotional Imagination.  This is when we’re planning our Happiness in the form of a dream vacation, a purposeful job, a prosperous future, a loving relationship, our kid’s gifted accomplishments, a healthy support system, good weather, the perfect friendship, making a mind/body connection, and on and on we go.  As we Emotionally Imagine these memories it’s like a wave of Happiness washing up on our beach of “misery”.  Emotional Imagination is emotionally focusing on how we want to Feel instead of focusing on the “crappy” feeling, but it’s also really Allowing ourselves the opportunity to Feel Good.  The wave loosens the little, irritating grains of sand (what I call “ninja demons”) and it’s up to us to re-integrate these grains of sand on our beach as we let go of the “shock and awe” around our negative experience and embrace our Happiness in its wake. We’re creating the most beautiful sea glass, loosening and smoothing our sharp, jagged traumas until we are no longer giving them our energy….AT ALL!  And, we get to go to the most Amazing places while we weave a new basket into a new reality and a new (trauma-free) Life.

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

The Trauma Drama

black-heart

We have entered a delicate emotional and spiritual space in our “evolution” and I’ve heard from many recently in regards to feeling like the deeper emotional issues are coming up AGAIN to be processed.  From here, many are re-Creating their own emotional “traumas” in an inadvertent way both individually and in the bigger societal picture.  The definition of trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience and when this happens we usually find an emotional “snapshot” which may leave our perceptions of this moment at great odds with the “reality” that we may still be living and re-living this detrimental emotional experience.  Exhaustively enough, it is “here” that we will find a great Key of transcendence if we allow ourselves to look a little further withIN to release some of the deeper social, psychological, and spiritual “programming” from separation and judgement.  This is especially important when we feel separated from Self because we are in judgment of our own underlying emotions that stem from the trauma or the not so conspicuous PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress “disorder”) that comes later which is actually a very NATURAL emotional response. When we find ourselves feeling discontent with others or societal influence due to underlying trauma or PTSD it is withIN that we find all the answers we need and, as a matter of fact, our answers are coded right into our DNA so we never need to look any further than right Here where YOU are.

We’ve all experienced something “negative” in our Lives whether it be in a physical, psychological (mental), emotional, or spiritual aspect.  One of the most common experiences is the perception of abandonment because we are ALL experiencing a newer awareness including that of separation as spiritual beings having a human experience. We learn, for the most part, the “God” resides somewhere outside of ourselves dictating our Lives in some way, shape, or form but the Truth is that we are the “God” of our own individual Universe which is shaped by our physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual bodies.  Our preconceived ideals of what that means have been literally turned upside-down by our societal beliefs and familial expectations. The bottom line is this – if we haven’t made it ALL the way through our PAIN and found a Loving space for Self on the other side then we will most likely continue to re-Create our struggle in order to completely Overcome it.  This results in finding Love for Self and a more complete Healing by going through what we may be used to going around.  Over and over and round and round we go until we find Acceptance and Resolution leading to the KNOWING that we can never be any less than Whole or Complete even as we are experiencing “separation” and the feeling of abandonment that comes with it.

For this exercise we must think of “God” as our Higher Self who only has our best interests at Heart and wants to see YOU succeed in all areas of Life on Earth.  In other words, we have to KNOW that Self wants what’s best for Self and be able to put our Trust and Faith into this realization.  From here, we can see that the drama of our trauma doesn’t have to be so dramatic after all as it’s leading us to the ultimate prize of release, letting go, or Acceptance (however you chose to look at it).  The most important thing to remember about the stress that comes with trauma and PTSD is that we are searching for a way to have our Emotional needs met in order to move on.  We are ultimately trying to find a Safe emotional space where we are comfortable with expressing the emotions the event brought on in the first place.  It’s a very typical thing to project these emotional needs onto others and expect them to fulfill us which is, unfortunately, quite impossible.  The problem with this is that the person we are expecting to meet these emotional needs is unable because they can’t possibly know what Self needs more than Self which sets us (and them) up for “failure” in almost every situation.  Ultimately, Self is the only one who is experiencing Self’s emotions and in order to Heal we must meet our OWN emotional needs but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a Loving support system around us when we work through it.

As we put our Trust and Faith in our Higher Self we can begin to work with the damage and confusion on a more Spiritual level which brings significantly more accessible results.  We can begin to be Honest with ourselves about what our emotional needs really are and how these “needs” are effecting our Lives in the bigger picture.  We must be willing to establish how and with whom we are going about having these emotional needs met.  While we are in this process we MUST keep in mind that our emotional needs aren’t necessarily “unhealthy” rather we may be going about meeting them in an “unhealthy” way by doing harm to Self or others.  This is a very common theme, especially of late, and what we call emotional projection meaning that we are projecting our emotions onto others in order to have them meet an emotional need they cannot possibly meet setting us/them up to disappoint which causes us to be “traumatized” all over again.  This is also where we feel as if we take 2 steps forward and one step back or consistently end up back at “square one” which, as we’ve learned, is the TRUE definition of “insanity” – doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Every person and situation in our Lives is a mirror to the bigger picture of what we are trying to Learn about Self.  As we project our emotions and judgement onto others what we are really doing is asking Self to find Acceptance for the things we perceive as pissing us off or being “wrong” with the world or our relationships.  That’s certainly not to say there’s not some really negative energies out there but in order to transcend from the negativity we perceive “out there” we have to Love it into submission right “Here”.  This means what we “hate” or fear out there or in another is what we really hate or fear from withIN.  There’s nowhere to hide from this perception because we wouldn’t know hate and/or fear if we didn’t have it in our possession withIN.  These seemingly “negative” emotions are ALLERGIC to the energy of Love and in order to rid ourselves of them we must LOVE them from withIN.  From there, we begin to forget the negativity surrounding our trauma and can approach it from either a Loving standpoint or, even better, get to a place where we no longer put energy into it at ALL which is when it all but disappears as we (finally) move forward.

These epiphanies are uncomfortable and sometimes make us feel shame, guilt, or even “stupid” although it takes great commitment and courage to face what one truly hates and/or fears withIN.  It’s from this place of great vulnerability that we find our greatest Strength.  After all, this is when we Truly reach the rainbow bridge of emotionally imaginative Creation because we are in a Safe space where we aren’t doing “harm” onto others by way of our emotional projections.  Heaven on Earth is a mindset and a way of BEing rather than a place or an emotion that can be met by another from a projection because this IS part of the “illusion”.  The illusion tells us that we are incomplete, fragmented, or broken but the Truth is that we can never be these things in Spirit.  It’s only our judgment that tells us our emotions are “wrong” and our projection that tells us we need someone else to validate that the emotions are normal and healthy.  The safety comes when we no longer need this validation from others and find Love from withIN, even the parts of Self we think are “ugly”.  As most everything we Learned is upside-down, those who are reading this and embracing this process of Healing are opening up to a much deeper emotional vastness that covers all ends of the emotional and spiritual spectrum.  This means that by studying and making correction with our spiritual and emotional body we are able to Connect with Self and others in the most profound and expansive way.  From this end of the spectrum of pain, trauma, and PTSD to the other end of the spectrum of Love, Acceptance, and a Wholeness that comes from withIN.  This Loving Acceptance of Self is where we find our own personal brand of Heaven on Earth that comes from withIN and then begins to transform our reality (without).

If the writing inspires healing, please contact us for a private session or consider a donation as a healthy healing exchange.

Jennifer Deisher is a Wounded Healer and Spiritual Transformation Artist. She is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and co-founder of  Blueprints For Butterflies with her husband, Aaron. She & Aaron founded Blueprints For Butterflies as a safe, loving space to assist others who are Awakening and Healing.  To book a private healing session or reading; please visit BlueprintsForButterflies.com or contact us at Blueprintsforbutterflies@gmail.com.  References available upon request.

 

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

Lost at Sea…

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Let’s speak about a very big issue in our society which is extremely uncomfortable and I believe goes unspoken about in relation to the trauma it causes.  It is with great difficulty that I write this today because it’s a hot button issue not only for myself but for the majority of the people who come to us for Life Coaching.  I want to bring some clarity to childhood emotional abuse and the fallout it brings to a child’s Spirit and mental health.  There are very few people in our society who have had a “Leave it to Beaver” childhood which means that most people these days have suffered some form of abuse but for some reason we think of emotional abuse as “no big deal”.  I’m here to say that it IS a big deal and the trauma from this kind of abuse goes unrecognized for the most part due to the fact that there are no marks or bruises to say “someone is hurting me”.  There are many parents out there who have fallen victim to emotional abuse as children and don’t realize how deep the pain and abandonment go so it continues to be passed down from generation to generation.  When one suffers from emotional abuse they learn that Love=pain which means their Blueprint is upside-down.  An emotionally abused parent finds a precarious path when parenting solely based on what NOT to do so I would like to bring some insight into this type of abuse.  I would like to preface this by saying not all parents who “emotionally abuse” their children are bad people rather they are just as lost sometimes as the children they are raising.

As parents we need to understand that no matter how low our self-esteem or deep our insecurities our children look at us as their Creators therefore, to them, we are Everything!  Parents are “Gods/Goddesses” to their children and when a child suffers from emotional abuse it creates the deepest kind of trauma.  It is a most intimate form of violation when we raise our children in fear, anger, guilt, judgment, neglect, discouragement, indignity, scorn, shame, lack of communication, ridicule, jealousy, criticism, and/or resentment.  Our children are never “consequences” of bad decisions or bad relationships and it is most unfair for a parent to lay this kind of emotional burden on a child.  It’s equivalent to asking a child to hold the weight of not only their world but the weight of the parents world on their shoulders and this clearly can’t be expected of a child.  Our job as parents is not to create a “mini me” who represents all of our ideals rather we are here to mentor their Spirit so they can find their own Gifts and their own way.  It is not for us as parents to Live vicariously through our children by putting our “rules” and expectations on them when we Live in a Limitless world.  We are there for guidance, safety, and consistency so that they can feel Safe and Loved which brings Balance and Self Worth.  We speak of bullying in school but we how often to we stop and question where it begins, and it Always begins at Home.

The most common traumas that are induced from emotional abuse are low self-esteem, abandonment, and an extremely intense fear which sometimes manifests itself as anger.  The way we treat our children is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves making it a guilt-filled journey for parents who are emotionally abusive to their children.  This is why it’s so difficult for them to look at the wake of damage being done up close and personal.  It’s an endless cycle of emotional manipulation, projection, and deflection which leaves the child longing for some form of validation and consistency.  Parents who neglect or abuse their children emotionally are typically in a strong “victim” mentality therefore they cycle between abuse and guilt always looking for a reason to play the “victim” once again.  Most people that are in “victim” mentality refuse to recognize that they are projecting their emotions onto their children this way, complicated by the fact that many of them were also emotionally abused.  It takes the “victim” to recognize that they were a victim at some point or another and begin to deal with the pain and trauma surrounding the “event”.  Most emotionally abused parents who are also emotionally abusive are despondent, disconnected, distracted, and “weary of parenting” when most likely they never learned to care for themselves the proper way – much less a child.  They fail to understand that a parent is more Valuable than anything else in a child’s Life and that their Positive, Loving influence is crucial to the child’s emotional development.  The “abused/abusive” parent may not feel Worthy of the Love the child brings if they also learned that Love=pain.  Many use their children as the excuse to be a victim because they are stressed out or tired of “dealing” with the child because the child becomes a glaring mirror of what the parent doesn’t want to see in themselves.  They tend to look away rather than face the Truth which is compounded by the empathy and intuition almost every parent has at their disposal.  The real tragedy is that the parent is so consumed by having their own emotional needs met instead of focusing on the needs of the child, emotionally and otherwise.  I want to reiterate that because it is VERY important…the parent is consumed with having their emotional needs met above the needs of their child!  An abused child cannot help but feel abandonment and as such it becomes a continuous cycle of searching for Safe Love and in turn pushing it away to make sure it will come back.  The child becomes detached and alone leaving them to tread water in an endless sea of darkness yearning for the parents Love and approval.

When a child is emotionally abused it is the tendency to begin to act out and look for attention which they falsely mistake as Love.  They become so used to negative reinforcement at home that they begin looking for it in all areas of Life including school and relationships.  Once the child reaches an age of “accountability” the abusive parent typically begins to “give up” on the child due to the child’s destructive and angry behavior.  When this happens the abuser,  aka the “victim”, now has every excuse to continue the abusive behavior because the child is acting out and now they can “blame” the child for the mess, even though the behavior was incited by the abusive parent in the first place.  The child feels alone and feels as if there is no one they can count on to “have their back”.  The child is acting out because they are treading water, terrified, and screaming for help in whatever form it comes.  They literally have their hand up and are screaming for rescue in the form of that which they do not understand – Unconditional Love.  The more abandoned the child feels the more intense they will act out because their ultimate goal becomes pushing the parent away to find some sort of Trust in the parent/abuser.  There are no physical marks or scars so the child senses something is off but doesn’t understand what it is since they learned these things from Birth.  Emotional abuse is a slow, chronic process that eats away at the psyche of the child leaving a trail of broken promises behind for the child to reconstruct without the proper tools to do so.  The cries for help intensify as the child grows older if they cannot find the emotion of Love and Acceptance from the abusive parent.  These children will look for “love in all the wrong places” and when they find it they tend to push it away to avoid the pain that comes with their perception of what Love really means.  They learn that Love is inconsistent and has all kinds of “conditions” and oftentimes will become “addicted” to seeking and winning approval from the abusive parent even to the extent of rejecting other people in their Lives that Truly Love them.

It’s much easier for the parent to Heal and begin to parent their children from the Heart than it is for the child.  The child suffers much longer due to the endless quest for Love=pain provided the parent doesn’t begin to teach them they are Unconditionally Loved.  Neglect is also a form of emotional abuse and comes in the form of not nurturing a child and/or their emotions.  Abusive parents are inconsistent and as such the child is left to “walk on eggshells” because the abuse usually alternates between the parent’s Loving presence and the “victim” who presents themselves as the abuser.  A child is a “Godlike”, Spiritual presence in their Innocence and their Love for ALL but abusive parents literally steal their children’s Soul like a blood thirsty vampire.  What a parody of extremes when a child Loves a parent and is utterly terrified of them at the same time without Truly understanding where the fear comes from.  The marks, bruises, and scars are evident only to the child who is left confused and unable to comprehend their fear.  Neglect and abuse come in many forms including unreasonable expectations, anger, excessive punishment, physical and emotional neglect, lack of communication, bullying, name calling, Parental Alienation Syndrome (which involves a parent “bashing” another parent to the child – http://moonhippiemystic.com/2012/10/06/what-is-parental-alienation-syndrome/), and negative reinforcement.  It’s so important to talk to our children about their thoughts and feelings and to spend time interacting with them free from the distraction of television, computers, or phones.  Abused children don’t understand how to express their emotions the proper way because they don’t understand the emotion of Love and the abusive parent doesn’t leave room for the child to express themselves in any way, shape, or form.  The child learns that emotions are “weak” because they don’t have the forum in which to express themselves even though the parent is expressing themselves in the form of the abuse or neglect.  The parent usually suffers from their own childhood trauma and/or depression, alcoholism, or some form of addiction even if the “addiction” is the abusive cycle itself.  The “parent” is then replaced by a victim who enables the child to “raise themselves” due to the parent’s overwhelming guilt and the lack of emotional intelligence needed to face the consequences of the damage that is clearly evident.

A child’s needs are the same as anyone else’s wants in terms BEing seen and heard.  In other words, from an emotional aspect, what the parent may “want” the child actually Needs.  A child literally Needs Love to Survive and without it they become an empty shell longing for something they can’t even begin to put their finger on.  They generally grow up to lead a very lonely, perplexed Life resulting in an endless cycle of searching for Love and validation gaining momentum at every turn or “trauma”.  It’s imperative that a parent listen to their child, learn about their Hopes and Dreams, and Encourage them to pursue a Positive and Healthy Life.  A child should Always know that they are Safe and Loved Unconditionally.  It helps immensely if they are on a schedule so they know what to expect in their day as it helps keep them Balanced and shows the consistency they so desperately yearn for.  They Need Soul nourishment which can be accomplished by teaching them Happiness – yes, we actually have to teach our children how to be Happy.  There’s a great book written just for kids by my friend Patrick McMillan called “Discover Your Happiness Guide” which can assist in beginning the process of Teaching Happiness to our kiddos (http://www.amazon.com/Discover-Your-Happiness-Guide-Just/dp/1481191659/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377702711&sr=8-1&keywords=patrick+mcmillan+happiness) .  A child, by definition, is Joy and when they aren’t able to feel Joy or feel that they bring Joy to their parents they are unable to find Happiness.  Martial Arts is also a great forum and  form of therapy for children who are emotionally abused or bullied as it teaches them discipline, inner strength, philosophy, meditation, and anger management. Most of these children are extremely angry and it does them good to have a forum in which to express themselves.  Positive reinforcement is key as is learning how to talk to the child in order to get them to express their emotions. There’s nothing easier than seeing Life through the eyes of an Innocent child and the wonder they bring to everything they see or touch.  Another necessity is learning to communicate with the child as most abused children are terrified of making any kind of mistake and often view every mistake as a “failure” which is why they tend to lie about small things fearing they will get in “trouble”.  This way of thinking is brought about because the child gets in “trouble” for unreasonable things and is, on most occasions, punished excessively by verbal abuse, yelling, spanking, or “alone” time that goes longer than is necessary.  It is important to observe the child and their behavior because a parent can gain much insight into the patterns and begin to learn what the child’s “triggers” are in order to adjust accordingly.

There are so many sayings and quotations about Unconditional Love but the words are lost on those who have never experienced the Emotion of it.  We can talk and talk for eons about Unconditional Love but until the child and/or parent Allows themselves to REceive Love the words will fall on deaf ears.  The most important thing to remember is that it takes time, patience, and consistency to undo the damage.  It’s a process in teaching the child about Love, Trust, and Happiness which can only be proved by allowing the child time to adjust and room to “act out” their fears and insecurities.  The child needs to feel they have a Safe place to express their emotions because most of the emotions will be fear and anger based which makes it “uncomfortable” for the parent and others who are close to the child.  As the parent it is important to learn Emotional Intelligence in order to be a Calm, Loving, Consistent presence in the child’s Life.  It’s important for the parent to Forgive themselves if they are to make changes because without Forgiveness the cycle will continue due to the emotion of guilt that the parent typically carries with them.  The Truth is, in a Spiritual sense, we are ALL Worthy of Love and Forgiveness and it’s never to late to Begin Again.  If you are in a place to Begin Again, please do so, you and your child are Worth finding Love, Peace, and Happiness in Life.  Make it so!

An Old Cherokee Tale:

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil.  It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’

Music to drive it Home:

Blueprints for Butterflies offers Intuitive & Spiritual Life Coaching.   We are a husband/wife team who specialize in crisis situations as well as PTSD, depression, Parental Alienation Syndrome, and abuse situations. Please e-mail us at blueprintsforbutterflies@gmail.com for more information.

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.