Morbid Affection: The Psychology of Narcopathy

morbid affection

Psychology is the study of the mental aspects of the psyche and is relevant to achieving all aspects of clarity. The psyche is the whole of the human soul, mind and spirit. The mind is a very powerful aspect of the whole and the last place we “think” to look for spiritual and/or emotional keys when it comes to actualizing self-love. Love starts from within and if we don’t learn what love is, and isn’t, we tend to go forward learning very hard lessons along the road in life. Sometimes we learn love as an upside-down concept that urges us to look outside of ourselves to identify love, esteem and answers that come from withIN. We must be willing to listen and accept ourselves as we are in order to realize change, especially when we don’t like what we find. This is why they say “judge not lest ye be judged” because it is always a dual reflection.

Pathy is a Greek word which denotes feeling into certain areas of the psyche; physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. [i] This is also a way of “feeling into” our own dis-order or dis-ease, especially as we clear the mental plane of understanding why we behave the way we do toward self and others. These feelings can be good or bad. When our being is imbalanced in any area, we can look at a “pathy” as a form of “morbid affection”. Narcopathy would then mean “morbid affection of self and others”, even if it presents itself as apathy, lethargy or feeling numb to specific feelings or emotion. A person who can hurt someone and not feel any remorse is disconnected from their own psyche in some way. As everything starts from within and radiates outward, we have to be able to mindfully tell the difference between unconditional love and morbid affection. Morbid affection is the dis-ease that is infecting the root of our proverbial family tree, both individually and collectively. It is the opposite of love. It is self-loathing, grandiose admiration of oneself and/or apathy; a serious problem because most people who think and feel this way tend to show it in a way that is harmful to the self and/or speaks of loathing others. It is intolerance, cynicism, condescension and even hate posing as love; we have to learn to tell the difference if we are to self-evolve.

We all have a “god spark” but that doesn’t mean we know how to connect with it and use it for good and healing. This perpetuated concept of love posed as something more insidious and deceitful is worth “thinking” about from a psychological aspect. Keep in mind, it can also be highly psyche shattering when we find moments of self-realization that include love posing as something very different indeed. Especially as we see how we’ve carried these imbalanced patterns forward into the world in “looking for love in all the wrong places”.

The Compartmentalization of Eve

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Sane and feeling people have a really hard time truly understanding the nature of “evil”, power, greed or lack of empathy; every aspect of “narcopathy” is relevant to our collective ‘ascension’. It’s also why we have a hard time seeing those qualities in ourselves. We want to see the best in other people just as we hope they will see the best in us. There is nothing wrong with this concept if we lived in a self-actualized society where we are all aligned with the proper energy of love and not fear. The problem is not in looking for the good in others, the problem is in understanding that maybe it just isn’t there; even if it means it just doesn’t exist in a relationship, the workplace, as a parent or with an establishment(s) and/or institution. Specifically, we are talking about inherently dysfunctional patterns of behavior that feed the illusion of another’s self-interests; the illusion we’re trying to free ourselves from in the first place. Psychological hooks in the psyche that pose as emotional triggers to incite unhealthy emotional reactions from self and others. A parent who blames a child for their own inadequacies; blaming a partner for your own lack of intimacy; practicing psychological abuse or manipulation (the topic in focus); bullying another or standing by watching another be bullied while saying nothing, effectively enabling the abuser; engaging in reckless, careless and erratic emotional behavior; luring others into oppression or oppressive behavior; engaging in terrorism or war, directly or by proxy;  committing ecocide, homicide or genocide; . There are too many areas of “dysfunction” in our collective consciousness, we can only focus on healing our own if we want to truly be the change we wish to see in the world.

The mind is a brilliant tool and weapon, it protects us from ourselves and others when we are compromised. It protects us from our true self if we refuse to see our “flaws”. It’s the discombobulated feeling we get when we know we have emotional connections to make in order to transcend the mirror of the mental plane. The source of ALL truth is in realizing we all have certain areas in life where we play the unfortunate antagonist, especially as it relates to the self; the micro affects the macro. No one gets a “free pass” in this way. This is what we mean when we say “the nature of duality” as it relates to healing self and others. We cannot heal something that bothers us if we can’t even see that we are allowing or actualizing our own abusive behavior toward self and others.

We can be good people but still be a lousy in one (or more) of our compartments because it’s how we tend to “justify” behavior that we don’t want to participate in but do, for whatever reason. We can be a good employer but a terrible parent. A good family (wo)man who makes destructive and detrimental political decisions on behalf of the collective. A successful person with unhealthy attachments. Talking but not doing. You can put on a brave face to the world and then practice “self-loathing” at home. Addiction, obsessive behavior, anger, alienating the people you say you care about, not doing the right thing when you know the right thing to do, lack of humility and atonement, self-deprivation and so much more. This is what it means when they say “you can’t love anyone until you love yourself”.

In fact, there is a very metaphoric meaning to the biblical story of The Tree of Life, Eve and the snake in the garden. If someone can’t come into your sacred space without waking the snake, the intuition and emotional triggers that come when your tree shakes knowing you should be on alert, than maybe it’s a telltale sign to stop allowing them to poison the fruit of your proverbial tree? On the dual side of this epiphany is if everyone rattles the snake, it may be a sign of practicing an unhealthy form of love by thinking you don’t need connections and healthy relationships in life. The balance is when we realize that Eve didn’t allow the snake into the garden, the snake was the protector of the garden all along.

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The idea that there is no more growth and learning to be done is a desperate form of ignorance; ignoring the nuances as a way of holding onto an illusion. There are many temptations that lead to this practice of psychic deception, the mind attempting to deceive the psyche into believing it is acting sane and rationally. It requires humility and surrender to admit we don’t have all the answers, especially when the illusion cracks and we reach a choice point of continuing into delusion or deciding to seek clarity and Healing. Sometimes the mind doesn’t want to accept the potential of the heart and soul, change can be extremely painful when we are feeling through the e-motion of sorrow or fear. The ability to connect our true feelings with our true mental state is a milestone indeed. If this journey of attachment and detachment proves debilitating, it’s usually because we aren’t allowing ourselves to focus on it some way. We are most likely still confined in the consciousness that created the problem in the first place.

When we throw ourselves out there in a million different directions looking for answers, we can’t be surprised when we feel overwhelmed and don’t know which “lead” to follow. This is when we can become desperate and begin to suffer enormously in an energetic capacity. It is truly self-healing when we allow our intuition to lead us to the answers. We aren’t participating in our own healing when we refuse to listen to, and be mindful of, the ONE true voice that really matters. The voice of our own Truth; no matter how self-loathing it may be. It’s important to ask our divinity to work through us to achieve the highest outcome for all involved as we embark on this precarious process. The “crucifixion” is a process of standing before your own Divinity stripped of all titles, roles and labels that are used to compartmentalize the experiences we are having. The “Tribulation” is when we see our own tragic behavior and the wake of damage it left behind. This is when the abused becomes the abuser; what have we taken on and been stained with in our individual and collective journey?

We can’t heal if we’re running away from the only things that truly matter; the ground beneath our feet, the self, the family, the focus it takes to focus. We slow down. We re-think the illusion that just because we seemingly “have it all” doesn’t mean we don’t have to practice all aspects of health to maintain our own well-being; including the mirror of our own psyches. We stop abandoning ourselves on our spiritual journey because we don’t like what we “see”. The practice of “Dharma” in Buddhism is the practice of recognizing, balancing and protecting ourselves from fear. A practice of Self-Compassion, Mindfulness and “mirror therapy” may be helpful in actualizing self-love. It forces the mind to slow down, recognize and receive what the universe is trying to teach it, through the self and the entire psyche; within and without.  Are you really listening?

[i] http://www.dictionary.com/browse/-pathy

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

The Hijacked Mind: Healing a Society in Trauma

 

Contributing Writer for Wake Up World

Healing-the-Hijacked-Mind-Artwork-by-Arturo-Leal-via-artlc.deviantart.com--248x330The hijacking of our minds and our consciousness with fear-based societal manipulation is the foundation for many of our most deeply rooted beliefs and perceptions. The institutions of our society are designed to produce fear, stress and trauma via manufactured systems of power, governance, education, religion and finance (just to name a few) — all of which serve to propagate institutional instead of personal power. And, while we are spiritual beings having a human experience, we are human after all, and our psychology and biology play compelling parts in our behavior and reactions to those manipulative stimuli.

By having an awareness of how the hijacked brain works, we can learn how to heal and recover these sensitive “fear based” areas, deepen our awareness of our own personal evolution, and help to heal a society in trauma.

Amygdala Hijacking

There is an area of the brain known as the Amygdala, which is responsible for creating our flight/fight response to perceived threats and overwhelming situations. It is a necessary evolutionary tool for our survival, creating an immediate emotional fear response that steers us clear of genuine threats. But it does not react only to the present, it reacts to the possible future, the threat of what may happen, the worst case scenario.

We do not fear the unknown… We fear what we project onto the unknown.

There is also a term used in psychology known as an “Amygdala hijacking” which is described as a way of deliberately eliciting “emotional responses from people which are immediate and overwhelming, and out of measure with the actual stimulus because it has triggered a much more significant emotional threat”. Or in simpler terms, keeping people afraid. In the natural world, fear is a temporary response that causes us to remove ourselves from (flight), or change (fight), a certain circumstance. Fear hijacking, however, creates a sustained fear response, by continually stimulating the Amygdala’s perception of the threat.

In this article, I want to talk about what happens when Amygdala hijacking becomes a permanent situation — a situation we and our society find ourselves in today — and how we can begin to heal from our own worst fears and nightmares.

Indeed, much of this has to do with biology and our natural “fight or flight” reactions, which are beneficial tools to help keep us alive, but it also helps to understand how our environment and conditioning plays a role in stimulating the fear-wired portion of our brains. Once we begin to understand and make peace with our own fear triggers, we can begin to clear and purify the damage caused by widespread institutionalized Amygdala hijacking, and take conscious control of the part of brain that may be clogged with intentionally fear-inducing outside stimuli.

Objectifying Fear

Like all unresolved emotions, a clogged “fear filter” in the brain can cause energetic build-up and blockages in the biological body; which may result in dis-eases such as depression, anxiety, addiction, substance abuse, anger, tension, guilt, shame and apathy (just to name a few).

The problem with the cold and heavy emotion of fear is that fear itself also has “consciousness”, intruding on our experience of self, depending on how we filter fear through our psyche and our bodies (including the physical body.) We subconsciously hold onto fear, even defend and protect it. It fuels our addictions, anxiety, depression, and negativity in general, especially if we still hold the tension of unresolved emotion in our physical (cellular) body.

To overcome our fear, to take away the power of fear consciousness, we have to learn to “objectify” it. It’s important to understand that fear has its use, to warn us of impending danger – such as fire, wild lions, or moving vehicles – however we’ve learned to live with an unnaturally elevated level of this natural emotion, due to outside manipulations. Through the mainstream news media, we are exposed to stimuli daily that encourages us to live in fear; of impending war, of environmental disaster, of terrorism, of crime, of financial crisis, of disease, and even of each other. And most of all, we are taught to fear death, and therefore, to fear life itself. We adhere to countless rules, knowing our livelihoods depend on it, and see signs constantly throughout the day warning us of this and that. Then, many of us wind down by scaring ourselves rigid with a movie, or a thrill ride, or a kill-or-be-killed online game. As a result our bodies, our subconscious, and our consciousness are constantly responding to an unnaturally high level of fear-inducing stimuli.

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Stimulated by the distorted focus of the ‘reality’ presented to us, the Amygdala’s reaction is to initiate flight/fight responses in the body, and because we can neither flee what we fear nor fight it off, the energetic and subconscious result is a background hum of unresolved fear. Although most of us have gotten used to it, the biological fear response alters our perceptions and keeps us “on edge”, coloring our emotions and our choices. In this way, prolonging a general sense of fear in people is a perfect tool of would-be controllers.

The Natural State

When we go against Natural Law, intentionally or otherwise, we create emotional imbalances. Today, such imbalances are deliberately instilled; an escalating consequence of the individual and collective “fear hijacking” that compels us as a society to live outside the bounds of Natural Law. For reasons we barely comprehend, we create plastics for short-term use, which never break down. We turn to chemical poisons instead of ancient natural remedies in hopes they will improve our health. We poison our air, soil and water supplies with toxic industry and agriculture. We declare war our own species over the differences in our spiritual/religious experience, and over non-renewable energy and resources, while suppressing non-polluting energy sources that might replace them. And we consume more of the Earth than the Earth herself can sustain.

Our natural state is not to live in such “dark”, imbalanced energy. And as we continue to consume of the Earth, ignoring the principles of Natural Law, our energetic imbalance consumes us, and also consumes our planet; our Mother.

We live in an electromagnetic universe. Our unresolved and imbalanced emotions are a huge part of the chaos we see all around us. And it’s our responsibility to clean up our own “energetic” mess! If we look at the biology of our elevated “fight or flight” dilemma, and understand it as a consequence of fear hijacking, then we can begin to see the need for emotional clearing, so we’re able to clean up our energetic mess from the inside out.

It’s a confronting process and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly, but this is our karma; we all have this responsibility to our Self, each other, and Planet Earth. Our trauma and shadowy experiences tend to hold on for a reason — they hold a lesson for us — so it’s a profound and healing journey to get to the root of our actions and reactions.

In this process, it helps to focus not on the negative — on why we have been influenced with this fear, or who is responsible — but on the positive — on taking responsibility for our own well-being, happiness, and the embodiment of our spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical journey. The who and why of the mass fear hijacking of humanity become irrelevant when we take control of our own being; when we face the root of the fear at its source instead of band-aiding our traumatic and unreleased, imbalanced experiences.

The Tree of Life

Our bodies are an intricate design of brilliant architecture and none of it is by accident. It is through the physical and energetic body that we access the unseen and connect to the “unified field of Consciousness”; the universal library of information known throughout time, culture and religion as The Book of Life, The Akashic Record, The Tree of Life, or the Unified Field of Consciousness.

1424218016_5c9cWhen we think of the unseen — our collective psyche, stored experiences, emotions and unresolved “traumas” — as being stored beneath the roots of our proverbial trees, in the Earth herself, we can begin to imagine that we, through our physical “seen” bodies, are the key to accessing these depths… with caution and care. By accessing the Tree of Life, we activate our connection to the vast unseen, beyond fear and trauma, and begin to find balance and heal our wounds at the roots.

When we begin to examine our fear response, what we find at the roots of our own personal tree is a deeply motivating force that underlies our entire life experience, including dis-ease of the mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical “bodies”. But, if we can build an understanding of how we experience fear in its many faces and forms, we can begin to undo the cellular and energetic damage caused by our subconscious, biological reactions to fear.

Conditioned as we are, seeing our fears from a new perspective is something that we have to actively look for, at least at first — but when we do, we can begin to affect our unseen energetic roots, which in turn affects how we bloom ‘above ground’. Inside our roots — our DNA — is all of the genetic knowledge that has accumulated over all of our respective lifetimes, both individually and as a collective. The wisdom of the Tree of Life is embedded within you, waiting to be discovered and expressed.

Our inner voice is always there if we choose to listen, but listening is also learning to quiet the blocks created by the unprocessed fear that needs clearing in the first place. The “catch” is also the chase. When we (finally) emotionally connect with the root of our fear, there will be a clash of energy and the base emotions of grief. When this energy begins to move, we often look for a replacement or we tend to go back to our fearful patterns, until we find a place of fearless acceptance.

A gratitude practice, meditation, or journaling (or a combination thereof) are all greats way to begin to appreciate the depths of our emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical nature. Where we find resistance is where we need to nurture ourselves and our perspectives with more loving intention.

We Are Evergreen!

To truly connect with the Tree of Life, we must learn to be a part of it; to live and abide by Natural and Universal Law, instead of choosing to remain “victims” to the fear-inducing system that hijacked us in the first place. The system will fail because it wasn’t created according to the Natural Laws of Creation — that is a given. But, as eternal spiritual beings, we must recognize that we are also having a very “human experience” here, which requires that we face the effects of the “energetic mess” we have collectively created, in order to transmute it for the future.

Remember, everything in this journey is a process; an evolution. Our perspective is always changing. We have to give ourselves permission to be happy, prosperous, healthy and whole, while we also do the work of facing our personal and collective shadows. Only by allowing ourselves permission to truly heal and truly be whole — aware of light and dark, the seen and the unseen — will we be able to interact with our own “mess” in an objective, constructive way.

We have everything we need withIN; all of the Love and all of the wisdom we need. The Earth is ancient and our DNA is ancient, filled with the knowledge of the Universe. There is an answer to every question and a cure for every dis-ease — and we begin to find them, when we connect with The Tree of Life and begin to care for it, by learning to care for ourselves (and each other) in deeper and deeper ways.

Listen to the wisdom within you and embrace the beautiful gift of being human, in all its emotional complexities.

Just like life itself, we are Evergreen!

moki

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Further reading from Jennifer Deisher:

This article © The Moon Hippie Mystic.
Top image: “Anxiety” by Arturo Leal on DeviantArt.
Center image: “Deliberation” by Mario Sanchez Nevado
Tree of Life image: Source unknown

 

 

Blue Water ~ Minding Emotional Pain

blue water“We cannot change anything unless we accept it.”
― C.G. JungModern Man in Search of a Soul

There are times in life’s journey when we simply feel blue.  We sense something is ‘missing’ and emotionally fall into feeling the absence of something stronger than its Presence.  Hidden in these moments is an opportunity for spiritual and emotional growth as the universe is opening a doorway to transcendence.  It’s our choice whether or not to walk through it.  Emotional and spiritual time are not ‘linear’ which is why  we may find ourselves emotionally triggered at anytime in life regardless of ‘timing’.  

What happens when we’re having a hard time processing our emotions?  Most likely, the ‘programmed’ mind will begin to lead us astray in resistance to finding and retrieving these pieces.  The ego tends to create familiar or repetitive stories around the emotion because the mind has its own way of interpreting information.  It draws from the past and our patterns of behavior in order to interpret and filter our reality. The mind has a hard time letting go of “what’s next?” so the tendency is to go back because it’s familiar.  It may obsess on past or future events in order to prevent the true origin of the emotion to surface.  We may perceive anger as pain, bargaining as OCD, material worth as self-worth or loss as obsession; the vastness of our emotional expression is as diverse as the human condition.

Questioning how we’re feeling and why doesn’t bode well for keeping the ‘status quo’ and we expend a great deal of our energy trying to sustain said ‘status quo’.  Many societal expectations tell us that feeling and expressing emotion is weak or unnecessary. When we have a belief system around this idea, it leads to emotional resistance which is why we have a mental and emotional health epidemic on our hands where the ‘quick fixes’ being prescribed are as dangerous as the cause.  Denying emotion can lead to adverse mental effects and psychological complexities that chronically deteriorate our well-being on every level  We become depleted and find it  increasingly difficult to function in a healthy capacity.  The pressure to release these emotions encourages us to find an acceptable way to emotional and spiritual balance as we learn to navigate the paradox of the deep below, the subconscious and unconscious mind.

The Paradox of the Mental Universe

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“The law of polarity states that: Everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree. It is also the first of the mutable or transcendable Universal Laws. It means that there are two sides to everything. Things that appear as opposites are in fact only two extremes of the same thing. ” ~ Tania Kotsos – Mind Your Reality

It’s normal for the mind to resist new ideas and experiences as it prefers consistency and patterns.  However, the more we try not to focus on something, the more we deny its existence, the more fiercely it will get our attention.  For instance, we may have a fundamental trauma around the emotion of abandonment so we focus on feeling connected by filling our lives with casual relationships to jobs or friends instead. But, we don’t let anyone get too close because we haven’t addressed the underlying, root issue.  Deep inside we’re also afraid of intimacy and acceptance.  We subconsciously keep distance in relationships which causes us to feel the abandonment on a deeper level; by trying not to focus on it, we’re still re-creating it rather than confronting it.  Fear of intimacy, acceptance and abandonment are all varying degrees of the same primal wound – the internal root grows many saplings.

Whether we look at emotional release as healthy or detrimental is all in the perspective.  The fact remains that it’s our responsibility to take care of ourselves by listening and responding.  The hardest thing is making peace with our own turbulence but we truly can’t have it any other way.  Life is moving, it’s not waiting for us to decide but it’s encouraging us to lighten our emotional baggage as we go.  When it’s confronted it ultimately leads to spiritual en-lighten-ment but as it goes unchecked it brings a great deal of ‘stress’.  When we finally stop running, we literally pass through the ‘mental’ realm of our own loveless projections; what we know as ‘judgement’ of self and others.  We have to love our ‘karma’ because it’s the universal reflection of our deepest wounds and greatest gifts all at once.  

This is when we see that 2 opposite extremes can both be true at the same time. The child of ‘abuse’ becomes a loving parent but finds themselves triggered later in life by the dichotomy of self as parent and child.  The wound is still there but our perspective is always changing so we can heal on a deeper level.  In spirit, all is One and “as it should be”.  We are human beings processing information and sometimes we have a hard time finding acceptance. The big hairy monster in the closet is typically our very own resistance to something we already know inside.

Blue Water

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Pain is a natural occurrence of the human experience and emotional pain is no different. Unlike physical pain, emotional pain can be avoided and denied until we have gone from pain to suffering.  Additionally, we sometimes go through tough and transitional moments in life such as a loss, endangerment or even a natural shift in perspective that causes doubt or insecurity to arise.  When we learn to sit in stillness with our emotions, we learn to reach a meditative state as the observer.    Sometimes we can mistake base mentality thinking or listening to the ego’s rhetoric as being ‘mindful’ of our emotions.      

In spirit, we learn to connect with the vastness of Love in the Universe but we all have an inner antagonist.  A purposeful response is protecting our own dignity and self-worth by finding out what it is and what it wants.  We can’t make this connection with our mind rather we must make an emotional and spiritual connection through our heart.  It requires a part of us to step aside and this is where we need to find patience.  It can be difficult to quiet the mind.  If it weren’t, we wouldn’t notice that everyone seems to be talking while, at the same time, no one seems to be listening.  We all want to be heard but we have to also learn to listen; listen to Self, the Earth, the Art, the Music, the Yoga, the Breath, the Wisdom of our Sage and timeless Spirit; the infinite withIN.  The universe speaks in a quiet whisper, the ‘ego’ speaks quite differently.

We are all healers.  By healing self, we open the prison doors to emotional freedom and expression.  It’s okay to contemplate and question.  Ultimately, it’s our ability to find sanity in an insane world that is natural and organic.  It’s in our nature to be curious about the universe and, when we play the universal scavenger hunt, we become demystified…our own mystic.  When we look to nature and natural creation to soothe our wounds, we detach from the deafening rhetoric and find a place to plant new roots.  We must rely on the truth of our eternal spirit to grow free from our primal wounds and the distractions of society’s limiting institutions.  When we decompress from our pain, we heal the individual and collective psyche.  Letting go lifts the burden of tension and brings clarity helping us better manage what’s on our proverbial plate.  Clarity returns as spirit takes over lighting the path to a more peaceful way of being.  

We can’t have both worlds – to be true to self we must honor our inner world and our emotional wounds.  Blue water sometimes feels more like fire water.  The fire burns off the dense energy that creates the patterns and programs of insanely doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.  As we leave the insanity and face the ‘wake of damage’ it left behind, the water soothes the burn of ‘regret’ .  Remember, honest emotional expression is Beautiful.   It’s every color of the rainbow.  Blue is the color of our truth and our divinity.  It’s a Gift, even though it may not feel that way in the moment.  It’s what we create with it that matters.  Something Blue, maybe?

Music to drive it Home: Rascal Flatts ~ Feels Like Today

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

 

The Art of Life ~ Creating through Chaos

Last night as I was sleeping, I dreamt that I had a beehive within my heart, and the golden bees were making white combs and sweet honey from all of my bitter disappointments.
~ Antonio Machado

There is an Art to Life and living if we Learn how to Live it the right way, from the inside out instead of from the outside in.  It requires the willingness to open our mind and heart to our own unique, Creative Gifts.  But, more importantly, it allows us the Freedom to detach ourselves from the matrix of boxes and squares and find that the Gift of Creation is actually Beautifully chaotic.  We become attached to all kinds of unhealthy ideas of what we think we need to be happy but if we look deep withIN we find that what we think we need is mostly of a material, addictive, and external nature.  Everything is upside down in the Beautifully chaotic rabbit hole and we often perceive this chaos as our Lives “falling apart”.

The Rabbit Hole

download (1)There’s terms for this state of being and several come to mind – rock bottom, identity crisis, coming of age, depression, and/or finding the Spirit withIN (which will crack you wide open but that’s another article).  What we learn about Love is backwards in most cases which is ironic because we ARE Love, in its purest form.  The catch, the experiment if you will, was and is to truly find out what it means to be separate and opposite of our true nature which is Love.  The polarity is that Love and hate (fear) are like oil and water so when they interact on an energetic and emotional level we find the chaos, the allergic reaction if you will.  This the dark place, the inky black energy of the Aether, and the rock bottom.  But, it’s also the biggest Gift and our greatest opportunity to find a Creative “spark”…the way “out”.

Even in our darkest and most painful hour, we always have a choice.  It’s just harder to make that choice when we are in an emotional state of change because change can feel like we’re losing something.  To take it a step further, this dying off of the old to make room for the new can sometimes give us the perception of feeling like we can’t go on but it’s really the stale and toxic energy dying, not our Life Force!  But, it so happens that we all have fears and when we go into fear we become less clear on what it is we’re looking for.  From there….well, pack your bag because it’s time to take a trip and this trip is no vacation rather a tumultuous and bumpy ride ultimately leading you to the very same destination!  So, we have to ask ourselves, do we want to take the private jet or pull the rickshaw with all its baggage to get where we need to go?

Emotions don’t make sense all the time.  It doesn’t matter “why?” because we all have our own unique and creative way of processing, perceiving, and evaluating our own experiences.  The best recipe for emotional chaos is to simplify which ultimately brings us to our own objectivity.  We can simplify our emotions into 2 categories, Love or fear.  If you’re not feeling well this will simply tell you everything you need to know.  It means it’s time to clear out the suitcase and make room for something new, something Good – even if it feels upside down (you’re in the rabbit hole, remember?).

The Big Move

Article-4-Hoarding-The-Art-Of-Letting-Go-Photo-1First, it helps to know that we’ve done this before even if we forgot how.  But, when we’re Creating we’re also changing, morphing, evolving, and moving energy – the emotional kind of energy that comes with great weight which is why it’s called EnLightenment.  We’re Lightening our emotional load and unpacking our emotional baggage in order to replace it with more of what our Heart and Soul essence is searching for…. the longing for change and the fear that comes with it.  My son used to say “it’s bark” when he was little instead of voicing the dark but it exists and we have to not only face it but go through it.  Don’t be scared, though, because the darkness is also the Aether which is the spiritual energy of Creation.  The Aehter is the “place” where Miracles are born, Lives are forever changed, and something can come from “nothing”.  The nothingness is still energy because there is no such thing as nothing.  For example, if we make a decision to wait or stand still it’s still a decision, even if it’s temporary.  In the Heartfelt stillness we find the Creative spark we need to set our Universe Afire giving permission for those around us to do the same.  To make the big move we have to realize that it’s a 2 step process.  First, we find the fearful energy looking to be released, and most of us have an awareness of our fears even if we’re unsure how to process them and/or persuade then to move out.  The key is realizing that we need something to replace the fear with and this is the process that we don’t necessarily like so much because it’s uncomfortable at best.

The reason it’s so hard to move is because we don’t always support the Universe in supporting us by focusing on the “what if’s” instead of the Miracles.  Due to societal, familial, and/or religious perceptions we tend to focus on what we can’t do instead of what we can, what can go wrong instead of what can go right, and what other people think instead of listening to the beat of our own Heart.  If we stand still we think we’re doing something “wrong” but it takes great Courage, discipline, and a unique kind of “energy” to be patient and wait for the answers to come instead of fearfully grasping at straws just to make a decision, even if it’s the wrong decision.  We’re creatures of habit and instant gratification forgetting often that we are Infinite BEings.  This is where we get “stuck” going round and round trying to solve fearful problems with the same mentality that created them…more fear.  Solving fear with fear is the proverbial insanity of banging our heads against the wall until we have a “concussion” and can’t think straight at all anymore.

Grab a Pallette

Our rock bottom, uncomfortable,  rage of discontentment is ultimately telling us everything we need to know about what’s not “working” in our Lives.  We may not like what we see when we look in the mirror at some of the fearful, desperate decisions we’ve made but to undo the “damage” we have to go through the darkness in order to see the Light.  The pain of our discontent and anger is the perfect indicator that we are settling for less than what our Heart is telling us we are Worthy of, withIN and without.  We may not like the landscape or the paint we’ve thrown on the canvas but we can change it, move it, enhance it, and color it in.  When we survive our “mistakes” we find we long for a more Joyful, meaningful, enriching, experiential kind of Life that is almost impossible to find as long as we’re thinking that what we want for ourselves is out of our reach.  And, let’s be honest, our demons aren’t very easy to look at which is why they like to lurk just beyond the periphery of our vision.  The ego operates like a secret agent in stealth mode invoking the turbulence of our fear.  But, we have something the “ego” doesn’t – we have our Light.  Darkness is only a blank canvass and the absence of color.  Our Light contains every color imaginable, every possible outcome, and every Loving relationship we ever hope to attract.

Creating something *NEW* is the best way to release emotional baggage and re-color our Lives into something we can’t wait to look at in the mirror.  Life is supposed to be FUN and rewarding, especially when we make the choice to embody our Art of Life and all its endless, beautifully chaotic possibilities.  When we release our fears and Listen to our Heart we find our Gifts withIN – the color, the magic, the eye of the photographer, the voice of an angel, the dancer in all her Grace and Beauty, the yogi who knows stillness is a feat, the words to uplift and empower, the essence of our very BEing.  The Dreamer’s dream comes to Life before our very eyes and it mirrors back to us all that we truly are.  Beautiful Beings of Light and Love who have the power to transcend every dark and fearful thing with our unique and colorful Creator spark in the darkness of the Aether.

Music to drive it Home: Keep Your Head Up ~ Andy Grammer

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

Empathy and Ubuntu ~ a Philosophy for a New Humanity

Ubuntu-Empathy-the-New-Paradigm-for-HumanityBy Jennifer Deisher

Contributing Writer for Wake Up World

Here we are on our beautiful blue green planet, travelling through time and space, hurtling toward infinity. Whether we realize it or not, we are united by our humanity.

As we each begin to flow into our spiritual journey, we become aware of a consciousness beyond our rational 3D comprehension. We begin to question everything we think we know about life and reality. We de-construct the illusions around us, and come to a new understanding of our place in the universe and beyond. And this new awareness is both liberating and extremely confronting, all at the same time.

Perhaps things are not quite what they seem.

The Hierarchy of Needs

We can understand our most basic human needs, and also our higher spiritual needs, through the psychological tool known as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs [i]. The bottom of the triangle represents our most basic physiological needs and the top represents our own Self-actualization or Self-awareness (which, not surprisingly, is represented by the “all-seeing eye” at the top of the proverbial pyramid.

A common belief is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and that our full potential is realized through the practices of love and empathy, and the Ubuntu philosophy. And that’s true! But we can’t ever forget that we are also human too. We have simple biological and emotional needs – such as food, water, and a sense of safety – that must be met in order for our very survival, and although there are a handful of spiritual ‘leaders’ in history who were synonymous with fasting and poverty, for most of us, we can’t even begin to understand our potential for Self-actualization or Ascension until those basic needs are met.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

So as messengers of a new paradigm, our challenge is not just to focus on the development of ‘higher’ personal aspects such as creativity, self-esteem and self-love, but to embrace and support those whose basic (and therefore spiritual) needs are not fulfilled, and help them create the sense of security and belonging they need as stepping stones to self-actualization.

Rainbow Day of Love

My friend, Deb Augenbaugh, decided to do just that when she recently started the non-profit organization Rainbow Day of Love to help feed the homeless population in her home town of Denver, Colorado. My husband, Aaron, and I had the honor of volunteering with her start-up organization this summer, and what we learned was a real lesson on our spiritual journey.

We came out on a Sunday morning to serve breakfast and as soon as breakfast was finished the group immediately formed another line for the next meal. Lesson #1: The sense of insecurity associated with unfulfilled physiological needs is ever-present, and does not go away with just one full belly. The tragedy of this situation is that these peoples’ lives are being spent trying to provide for their most basic physiological needs – quite symbolically, at the very bottom of the pyramid. In other words, they spend the whole day meeting the physiological needs of food, water, and shelter, while the rest of us take such necessities for granted and, as a society, waste the very resources these people so desperately need access to.

That Sunday morning, we struck up a chat with some people after breakfast and heard so many personal stories – war veterans, parents, college graduates – all who have experienced great hardship but are still living to tell their stories. Lesson #2: Survival instincts are hard-wired into our biology, including own need for safety. We each share the same primal instinct to live, and it’s a most natural response to do what we need to do in challenging circumstances in order to meet our most basic physiological needs. And although we may at one time be surrounded by friendship, safety and self-confidence in our lives, our physiological and safety needs that begin to go unfulfilled (whatever the circumstances) directly impact our sense of self and belonging.

Lesson #3: When we let people know that they are valued with something as simple as as smile or a hug or a question, the uplifting affect that loving connection has on their life-force (and yours) is both visible and immediate, sending ripples out into conscious universe.

A Collective Problem

As spiritual messengers and spiritual beings, we cannot speak of empathy if we are seemingly at a level of Self-actualization looking “down” at the reality of others, and dismissing their difficult experience as “creating their own reality”. But in truth, this limited perception is not based on reason or actual experience. We are ALL creating our own reality – and that creation includes a social hierarchy which is competitive by design, and therefore exclusive (to some) by result. If we – humanity – are to ascend to a new way of living, the only way to do that is TOGETHER. And yet our collective tendency is ignore their situation, and in big cities, even step over them in the street. We look to governments to “solve the unemployment problem”, which is an inherent part of our economic structure, and moan about the takers from the “welfare state”.

Not exactly conducive to a sense of safety and belonging, is it?

In reality, the majority of people living in poverty are – like the rest of us – incredibly intelligent, talented, creative and often educated people who have contributed to society, and who today are forced to use their talents and creativity just to sustain life; to survive. And that’s part of the “tragedy” – with basic needs met, their intelligence and creativity could be an amazing asset to our society! But while our society’s focus remains competitive not communal, a sense of belonging and self-realization takes a back-seat to the necessities of life for many people, and our spiritual life-force continues to vibrate on “survival” mode. While people are held by poverty at this base level of awareness, there is little room in their reality for other forms of safety, love, esteem, or self-actualization.

As enlightened beings, we have to be willing to see through the rationalizations of “the homeless problem” and our fears and misconceptions of “the homeless”, and begin to see that they too are spiritual beings who are desperately in need of our love, understanding and support.

The Empathy Card

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Science is finally beginning to understand what many of us have always known; that we humans are soft wired with empathy [ii]. It’s in our genetics. When we say “soft wired” it means that it isn’t a reflex like a knee jerk or a flight-fight response, rather it’s up to us to consciously exercise and utilize our empathy ‘muscle’ so we can gain a better understanding of our collective journey.

The second of the Seven Universal Laws, the immutable Law of Correspondence, tells us “As above, so below; as below, so above”. [iii] This means that we have an individual journey and a collective journey, and they are interconnected and correspond with one another in infinite synchronicity; that our outer world reflects to us our inner world; that what we choose within, we choose without.

Will you choose empathy and compassion? Or judgment and inaction?

We cannot consider ourselves a compassionate, intelligent, creative race of people until we change our relationship with homelessness and poverty in our society, and on our planet. There is certainly plenty to go around. According to http://www.worldhunger.org [iv]

The world produces enough food to feed everyone. World agriculture produces 17 percent more calories per person today than it did 30 years ago, despite a 70 percent population increase. This is enough to provide everyone in the world with at least 2,720 kilocalories (kcal) per person per day  according to the most recent estimate that we could find (FAO 2002, p.9). The principal problem is that many people in the world do not have sufficient land to grow, or income to purchase, enough food.

Harmful economic systems are the principal cause of poverty and hunger… Essentially control over resources and income is based on military, political and economic power that typically ends up in the hands of a minority, who live well, while those at the bottom barely survive, if they do.

As we confront the reality of increasingly harmful economic systems and government priorities, the social and spiritual inequity embedded in our social systems can seem near-impossible to overcome.

But it isn’t.

Real, lasting social change begins as an impossible creative spark in our hearts and minds, and manifests in our society from the ground up.

not-yet

Don’t Believe It’s Possible?

For those who believe homelessness is an unsolvable inevitability, take note. Since 2005, Utah has reduced homelessness by 74 percent and is on-track to end homelessness by 2015. [v]

How did they do this? Simple. They gave homeless people homes.

Why? Because it makes good sense, even in our competitive economy-driven society.

The obvious benefit is that, by satisfying the physiological and safety needs of marginalized people, they can begin to focus on ‘higher’ needs and rebuild their sense of esteem and belonging. But from a purely economic standpoint, providing permanent housing for the homeless is not only more humane than our system of competition and criminalization – it’s cheaper. [vi]

Utah policy makers realized that the annual cost of hospital and prison stays for homeless people was around $16,670 per person, compared to $11,000 annually to provide each homeless person with an apartment and a social worker. So the state of Utah addressed the basis of homelessness by giving away apartments, and assigning case-workers, as part of the state’s new Housing First program. As a result, Utah is saving money overall, while allowing all residence access to shelter and safety, a place from which other needs can begin to be met.

So far, the program has proven so successful that other states are modelling future programs on Utah’s success… and all it took was some clear, creative and compassionate thinking.

The Essence of Ubuntu

Ubuntu is a philosophy originating in Southern African that means literally “human-ness” or “humanity”. The term is used to represent a humanist philosophy or ideology, known as Ubuntuism, which is based on the universal bond of sharing that connects all of humanity. In our society, which institutionalizes competition instead of co-operation, this idea can seem like quite a paradigm shift. But Ubuntu is more than just a lovely idea, it is the communal foundation on which many cultures are built, ensuring the base needs of all individuals are met and freeing them up to pursue ‘higher’ needs of creativity, problem solving and self-realization.

As consciously evolving beings, we understand that we lift ourselves by lifting others, and that we can’t begin to uplift our world and our planet if we are personally unwilling to empathize with and empower the people who are most marginalized, and whose connection to Self and Source is most hampered by circumstance. When we add the Ubuntu philosophy into the mix, along with our pyramid of needs, we see the much bigger picture. It is about more than just empathy from afar. Instead of just looking at our reality from our individual, albeit empathetic perspective, we must acknowledge our connectedness – that “I am because we are” – and be guided by that knowledge into actions that reflect it back to us. “As above, so below”.

I came across this quote from Shakespeare the other day which says it perfectly: “Fatigue makes cowards of us all”.

We have been riding this wave of ascension for some time now, shining light into the shadows… and many of us are tired. But now isn’t the time to rest. Our collective awareness is expanding, and momentum is gathering.

When you feel that fatigue, look for motivation to those living lives of poverty and uncertainty, whose entire being revolves around providing their most basic needs for survival – and consider the kind of fatigue that comes with that. When you feel that tired feeling that all “conscious warriors” feel at one time or another, remember that “I am because we are”… remember the power you have to generate positive ripples of change, starting with your immediate world… remember that the spiritual ascension of humanity is a collective process… and remember that we don’t just begin to heal others through altruism, we begin to heal our society as well as those pieces of our Self that are asking to be seen through our mirror of experience.

Then, from this compassionate and open place, we can begin to find new ways to fulfill, uplift, and inspire one another – to “enlighten” each other in the truest sense. We can begin to hear each other and meet each other’s gaze, get to know what makes each other tick. We can begin to fulfill each other’s most basic, fundamental, physiological needs, and ultimately overcome the unnecessary suffering of poverty and homelessness – without waiting for our failing, unprincipled governments to do it for us.

So, next time your paths cross with a brother or sister in need, it may be time to see if you can get to know them a little better, and see what makes them tick. Homeless people don’t need our advice on how to get a job; they need food and safety, and a connection to others – the very first steps toward self-realization. But more importantly, they (and we) need a new social system; one that reflects our human oneness and better serves and reflects our commUnity. And in creating that new social model, the perspective of those homeless and disenfranchised people who live on the edges of our current system is invaluable.

We all have a very significant role to play in the conscious evolution of our planet. We have the capacity to break the pattern of our “reality” as we know it, and leave a legacy of love and inclusion for our children, and their children. But first, we must change the way humanity feels about itself, and to do that, we must be able to look ourselves in the mirror and see our shared humanity reflected back at us.

References:

[i] ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs’ is a theory proposed by psychologist Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper “A Theory of Human Motivation“.

[ii] Ted Talks: “Jeremy Rifkin on the Empathic Civilization

[iii] Tania Kotsos: “The Seven Universal Laws Explained

[iv] http://www.worldhunger.org: “World Hunger Facts

[v] http://www.nationswell.com: “Utah Is on Track to End Homelessness by 2015 With This One Simple Idea

[vi] “Homes Not Handcuffs: The Criminalization of Homelessness in U.S. Cities” – a Report by The National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty and The National Coalition for the Homeless

 

This article adapted for Wake Up World by Andy Whiteley.

The Trauma Drama

black-heart

We have entered a delicate emotional and spiritual space in our “evolution” and I’ve heard from many recently in regards to feeling like the deeper emotional issues are coming up AGAIN to be processed.  From here, many are re-Creating their own emotional “traumas” in an inadvertent way both individually and in the bigger societal picture.  The definition of trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience and when this happens we usually find an emotional “snapshot” which may leave our perceptions of this moment at great odds with the “reality” that we may still be living and re-living this detrimental emotional experience.  Exhaustively enough, it is “here” that we will find a great Key of transcendence if we allow ourselves to look a little further withIN to release some of the deeper social, psychological, and spiritual “programming” from separation and judgement.  This is especially important when we feel separated from Self because we are in judgment of our own underlying emotions that stem from the trauma or the not so conspicuous PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress “disorder”) that comes later which is actually a very NATURAL emotional response. When we find ourselves feeling discontent with others or societal influence due to underlying trauma or PTSD it is withIN that we find all the answers we need and, as a matter of fact, our answers are coded right into our DNA so we never need to look any further than right Here where YOU are.

We’ve all experienced something “negative” in our Lives whether it be in a physical, psychological (mental), emotional, or spiritual aspect.  One of the most common experiences is the perception of abandonment because we are ALL experiencing a newer awareness including that of separation as spiritual beings having a human experience. We learn, for the most part, the “God” resides somewhere outside of ourselves dictating our Lives in some way, shape, or form but the Truth is that we are the “God” of our own individual Universe which is shaped by our physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual bodies.  Our preconceived ideals of what that means have been literally turned upside-down by our societal beliefs and familial expectations. The bottom line is this – if we haven’t made it ALL the way through our PAIN and found a Loving space for Self on the other side then we will most likely continue to re-Create our struggle in order to completely Overcome it.  This results in finding Love for Self and a more complete Healing by going through what we may be used to going around.  Over and over and round and round we go until we find Acceptance and Resolution leading to the KNOWING that we can never be any less than Whole or Complete even as we are experiencing “separation” and the feeling of abandonment that comes with it.

For this exercise we must think of “God” as our Higher Self who only has our best interests at Heart and wants to see YOU succeed in all areas of Life on Earth.  In other words, we have to KNOW that Self wants what’s best for Self and be able to put our Trust and Faith into this realization.  From here, we can see that the drama of our trauma doesn’t have to be so dramatic after all as it’s leading us to the ultimate prize of release, letting go, or Acceptance (however you chose to look at it).  The most important thing to remember about the stress that comes with trauma and PTSD is that we are searching for a way to have our Emotional needs met in order to move on.  We are ultimately trying to find a Safe emotional space where we are comfortable with expressing the emotions the event brought on in the first place.  It’s a very typical thing to project these emotional needs onto others and expect them to fulfill us which is, unfortunately, quite impossible.  The problem with this is that the person we are expecting to meet these emotional needs is unable because they can’t possibly know what Self needs more than Self which sets us (and them) up for “failure” in almost every situation.  Ultimately, Self is the only one who is experiencing Self’s emotions and in order to Heal we must meet our OWN emotional needs but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a Loving support system around us when we work through it.

As we put our Trust and Faith in our Higher Self we can begin to work with the damage and confusion on a more Spiritual level which brings significantly more accessible results.  We can begin to be Honest with ourselves about what our emotional needs really are and how these “needs” are effecting our Lives in the bigger picture.  We must be willing to establish how and with whom we are going about having these emotional needs met.  While we are in this process we MUST keep in mind that our emotional needs aren’t necessarily “unhealthy” rather we may be going about meeting them in an “unhealthy” way by doing harm to Self or others.  This is a very common theme, especially of late, and what we call emotional projection meaning that we are projecting our emotions onto others in order to have them meet an emotional need they cannot possibly meet setting us/them up to disappoint which causes us to be “traumatized” all over again.  This is also where we feel as if we take 2 steps forward and one step back or consistently end up back at “square one” which, as we’ve learned, is the TRUE definition of “insanity” – doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Every person and situation in our Lives is a mirror to the bigger picture of what we are trying to Learn about Self.  As we project our emotions and judgement onto others what we are really doing is asking Self to find Acceptance for the things we perceive as pissing us off or being “wrong” with the world or our relationships.  That’s certainly not to say there’s not some really negative energies out there but in order to transcend from the negativity we perceive “out there” we have to Love it into submission right “Here”.  This means what we “hate” or fear out there or in another is what we really hate or fear from withIN.  There’s nowhere to hide from this perception because we wouldn’t know hate and/or fear if we didn’t have it in our possession withIN.  These seemingly “negative” emotions are ALLERGIC to the energy of Love and in order to rid ourselves of them we must LOVE them from withIN.  From there, we begin to forget the negativity surrounding our trauma and can approach it from either a Loving standpoint or, even better, get to a place where we no longer put energy into it at ALL which is when it all but disappears as we (finally) move forward.

These epiphanies are uncomfortable and sometimes make us feel shame, guilt, or even “stupid” although it takes great commitment and courage to face what one truly hates and/or fears withIN.  It’s from this place of great vulnerability that we find our greatest Strength.  After all, this is when we Truly reach the rainbow bridge of emotionally imaginative Creation because we are in a Safe space where we aren’t doing “harm” onto others by way of our emotional projections.  Heaven on Earth is a mindset and a way of BEing rather than a place or an emotion that can be met by another from a projection because this IS part of the “illusion”.  The illusion tells us that we are incomplete, fragmented, or broken but the Truth is that we can never be these things in Spirit.  It’s only our judgment that tells us our emotions are “wrong” and our projection that tells us we need someone else to validate that the emotions are normal and healthy.  The safety comes when we no longer need this validation from others and find Love from withIN, even the parts of Self we think are “ugly”.  As most everything we Learned is upside-down, those who are reading this and embracing this process of Healing are opening up to a much deeper emotional vastness that covers all ends of the emotional and spiritual spectrum.  This means that by studying and making correction with our spiritual and emotional body we are able to Connect with Self and others in the most profound and expansive way.  From this end of the spectrum of pain, trauma, and PTSD to the other end of the spectrum of Love, Acceptance, and a Wholeness that comes from withIN.  This Loving Acceptance of Self is where we find our own personal brand of Heaven on Earth that comes from withIN and then begins to transform our reality (without).

If the writing inspires healing, please contact us for a private session or consider a donation as a healthy healing exchange.

Jennifer Deisher is a Wounded Healer and Spiritual Transformation Artist. She is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and co-founder of  Blueprints For Butterflies with her husband, Aaron. She & Aaron founded Blueprints For Butterflies as a safe, loving space to assist others who are Awakening and Healing.  To book a private healing session or reading; please visit BlueprintsForButterflies.com or contact us at Blueprintsforbutterflies@gmail.com.  References available upon request.

AaronAaron Deisher has studied and practiced aspects of Earth Medicine for over 25 years. He’s a powerful Healer, spiritual & emotional Guide and psychic intuitive. His gift of logic and compassion provides an authentic connection with spirit and the universal field of consciousness. Aaron specializes in the art of human relationships and has the ability to interpret energy signatures and auric fields . He gently brings darkness to light by identifying and assisting with the release of toxic energy.   To book a private session, please visit BlueprintsForButterflies.com, click here or e-mail us at Blueprintsforbutterflies@gmail.com.  References available upon request.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

Lost at Sea…

indigo-children-20121

Let’s speak about a very big issue in our society which is extremely uncomfortable and I believe goes unspoken about in relation to the trauma it causes.  It is with great difficulty that I write this today because it’s a hot button issue not only for myself but for the majority of the people who come to us for Life Coaching.  I want to bring some clarity to childhood emotional abuse and the fallout it brings to a child’s Spirit and mental health.  There are very few people in our society who have had a “Leave it to Beaver” childhood which means that most people these days have suffered some form of abuse but for some reason we think of emotional abuse as “no big deal”.  I’m here to say that it IS a big deal and the trauma from this kind of abuse goes unrecognized for the most part due to the fact that there are no marks or bruises to say “someone is hurting me”.  There are many parents out there who have fallen victim to emotional abuse as children and don’t realize how deep the pain and abandonment go so it continues to be passed down from generation to generation.  When one suffers from emotional abuse they learn that Love=pain which means their Blueprint is upside-down.  An emotionally abused parent finds a precarious path when parenting solely based on what NOT to do so I would like to bring some insight into this type of abuse.  I would like to preface this by saying not all parents who “emotionally abuse” their children are bad people rather they are just as lost sometimes as the children they are raising.

As parents we need to understand that no matter how low our self-esteem or deep our insecurities our children look at us as their Creators therefore, to them, we are Everything!  Parents are “Gods/Goddesses” to their children and when a child suffers from emotional abuse it creates the deepest kind of trauma.  It is a most intimate form of violation when we raise our children in fear, anger, guilt, judgment, neglect, discouragement, indignity, scorn, shame, lack of communication, ridicule, jealousy, criticism, and/or resentment.  Our children are never “consequences” of bad decisions or bad relationships and it is most unfair for a parent to lay this kind of emotional burden on a child.  It’s equivalent to asking a child to hold the weight of not only their world but the weight of the parents world on their shoulders and this clearly can’t be expected of a child.  Our job as parents is not to create a “mini me” who represents all of our ideals rather we are here to mentor their Spirit so they can find their own Gifts and their own way.  It is not for us as parents to Live vicariously through our children by putting our “rules” and expectations on them when we Live in a Limitless world.  We are there for guidance, safety, and consistency so that they can feel Safe and Loved which brings Balance and Self Worth.  We speak of bullying in school but we how often to we stop and question where it begins, and it Always begins at Home.

The most common traumas that are induced from emotional abuse are low self-esteem, abandonment, and an extremely intense fear which sometimes manifests itself as anger.  The way we treat our children is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves making it a guilt-filled journey for parents who are emotionally abusive to their children.  This is why it’s so difficult for them to look at the wake of damage being done up close and personal.  It’s an endless cycle of emotional manipulation, projection, and deflection which leaves the child longing for some form of validation and consistency.  Parents who neglect or abuse their children emotionally are typically in a strong “victim” mentality therefore they cycle between abuse and guilt always looking for a reason to play the “victim” once again.  Most people that are in “victim” mentality refuse to recognize that they are projecting their emotions onto their children this way, complicated by the fact that many of them were also emotionally abused.  It takes the “victim” to recognize that they were a victim at some point or another and begin to deal with the pain and trauma surrounding the “event”.  Most emotionally abused parents who are also emotionally abusive are despondent, disconnected, distracted, and “weary of parenting” when most likely they never learned to care for themselves the proper way – much less a child.  They fail to understand that a parent is more Valuable than anything else in a child’s Life and that their Positive, Loving influence is crucial to the child’s emotional development.  The “abused/abusive” parent may not feel Worthy of the Love the child brings if they also learned that Love=pain.  Many use their children as the excuse to be a victim because they are stressed out or tired of “dealing” with the child because the child becomes a glaring mirror of what the parent doesn’t want to see in themselves.  They tend to look away rather than face the Truth which is compounded by the empathy and intuition almost every parent has at their disposal.  The real tragedy is that the parent is so consumed by having their own emotional needs met instead of focusing on the needs of the child, emotionally and otherwise.  I want to reiterate that because it is VERY important…the parent is consumed with having their emotional needs met above the needs of their child!  An abused child cannot help but feel abandonment and as such it becomes a continuous cycle of searching for Safe Love and in turn pushing it away to make sure it will come back.  The child becomes detached and alone leaving them to tread water in an endless sea of darkness yearning for the parents Love and approval.

When a child is emotionally abused it is the tendency to begin to act out and look for attention which they falsely mistake as Love.  They become so used to negative reinforcement at home that they begin looking for it in all areas of Life including school and relationships.  Once the child reaches an age of “accountability” the abusive parent typically begins to “give up” on the child due to the child’s destructive and angry behavior.  When this happens the abuser,  aka the “victim”, now has every excuse to continue the abusive behavior because the child is acting out and now they can “blame” the child for the mess, even though the behavior was incited by the abusive parent in the first place.  The child feels alone and feels as if there is no one they can count on to “have their back”.  The child is acting out because they are treading water, terrified, and screaming for help in whatever form it comes.  They literally have their hand up and are screaming for rescue in the form of that which they do not understand – Unconditional Love.  The more abandoned the child feels the more intense they will act out because their ultimate goal becomes pushing the parent away to find some sort of Trust in the parent/abuser.  There are no physical marks or scars so the child senses something is off but doesn’t understand what it is since they learned these things from Birth.  Emotional abuse is a slow, chronic process that eats away at the psyche of the child leaving a trail of broken promises behind for the child to reconstruct without the proper tools to do so.  The cries for help intensify as the child grows older if they cannot find the emotion of Love and Acceptance from the abusive parent.  These children will look for “love in all the wrong places” and when they find it they tend to push it away to avoid the pain that comes with their perception of what Love really means.  They learn that Love is inconsistent and has all kinds of “conditions” and oftentimes will become “addicted” to seeking and winning approval from the abusive parent even to the extent of rejecting other people in their Lives that Truly Love them.

It’s much easier for the parent to Heal and begin to parent their children from the Heart than it is for the child.  The child suffers much longer due to the endless quest for Love=pain provided the parent doesn’t begin to teach them they are Unconditionally Loved.  Neglect is also a form of emotional abuse and comes in the form of not nurturing a child and/or their emotions.  Abusive parents are inconsistent and as such the child is left to “walk on eggshells” because the abuse usually alternates between the parent’s Loving presence and the “victim” who presents themselves as the abuser.  A child is a “Godlike”, Spiritual presence in their Innocence and their Love for ALL but abusive parents literally steal their children’s Soul like a blood thirsty vampire.  What a parody of extremes when a child Loves a parent and is utterly terrified of them at the same time without Truly understanding where the fear comes from.  The marks, bruises, and scars are evident only to the child who is left confused and unable to comprehend their fear.  Neglect and abuse come in many forms including unreasonable expectations, anger, excessive punishment, physical and emotional neglect, lack of communication, bullying, name calling, Parental Alienation Syndrome (which involves a parent “bashing” another parent to the child – http://moonhippiemystic.com/2012/10/06/what-is-parental-alienation-syndrome/), and negative reinforcement.  It’s so important to talk to our children about their thoughts and feelings and to spend time interacting with them free from the distraction of television, computers, or phones.  Abused children don’t understand how to express their emotions the proper way because they don’t understand the emotion of Love and the abusive parent doesn’t leave room for the child to express themselves in any way, shape, or form.  The child learns that emotions are “weak” because they don’t have the forum in which to express themselves even though the parent is expressing themselves in the form of the abuse or neglect.  The parent usually suffers from their own childhood trauma and/or depression, alcoholism, or some form of addiction even if the “addiction” is the abusive cycle itself.  The “parent” is then replaced by a victim who enables the child to “raise themselves” due to the parent’s overwhelming guilt and the lack of emotional intelligence needed to face the consequences of the damage that is clearly evident.

A child’s needs are the same as anyone else’s wants in terms BEing seen and heard.  In other words, from an emotional aspect, what the parent may “want” the child actually Needs.  A child literally Needs Love to Survive and without it they become an empty shell longing for something they can’t even begin to put their finger on.  They generally grow up to lead a very lonely, perplexed Life resulting in an endless cycle of searching for Love and validation gaining momentum at every turn or “trauma”.  It’s imperative that a parent listen to their child, learn about their Hopes and Dreams, and Encourage them to pursue a Positive and Healthy Life.  A child should Always know that they are Safe and Loved Unconditionally.  It helps immensely if they are on a schedule so they know what to expect in their day as it helps keep them Balanced and shows the consistency they so desperately yearn for.  They Need Soul nourishment which can be accomplished by teaching them Happiness – yes, we actually have to teach our children how to be Happy.  There’s a great book written just for kids by my friend Patrick McMillan called “Discover Your Happiness Guide” which can assist in beginning the process of Teaching Happiness to our kiddos (http://www.amazon.com/Discover-Your-Happiness-Guide-Just/dp/1481191659/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1377702711&sr=8-1&keywords=patrick+mcmillan+happiness) .  A child, by definition, is Joy and when they aren’t able to feel Joy or feel that they bring Joy to their parents they are unable to find Happiness.  Martial Arts is also a great forum and  form of therapy for children who are emotionally abused or bullied as it teaches them discipline, inner strength, philosophy, meditation, and anger management. Most of these children are extremely angry and it does them good to have a forum in which to express themselves.  Positive reinforcement is key as is learning how to talk to the child in order to get them to express their emotions. There’s nothing easier than seeing Life through the eyes of an Innocent child and the wonder they bring to everything they see or touch.  Another necessity is learning to communicate with the child as most abused children are terrified of making any kind of mistake and often view every mistake as a “failure” which is why they tend to lie about small things fearing they will get in “trouble”.  This way of thinking is brought about because the child gets in “trouble” for unreasonable things and is, on most occasions, punished excessively by verbal abuse, yelling, spanking, or “alone” time that goes longer than is necessary.  It is important to observe the child and their behavior because a parent can gain much insight into the patterns and begin to learn what the child’s “triggers” are in order to adjust accordingly.

There are so many sayings and quotations about Unconditional Love but the words are lost on those who have never experienced the Emotion of it.  We can talk and talk for eons about Unconditional Love but until the child and/or parent Allows themselves to REceive Love the words will fall on deaf ears.  The most important thing to remember is that it takes time, patience, and consistency to undo the damage.  It’s a process in teaching the child about Love, Trust, and Happiness which can only be proved by allowing the child time to adjust and room to “act out” their fears and insecurities.  The child needs to feel they have a Safe place to express their emotions because most of the emotions will be fear and anger based which makes it “uncomfortable” for the parent and others who are close to the child.  As the parent it is important to learn Emotional Intelligence in order to be a Calm, Loving, Consistent presence in the child’s Life.  It’s important for the parent to Forgive themselves if they are to make changes because without Forgiveness the cycle will continue due to the emotion of guilt that the parent typically carries with them.  The Truth is, in a Spiritual sense, we are ALL Worthy of Love and Forgiveness and it’s never to late to Begin Again.  If you are in a place to Begin Again, please do so, you and your child are Worth finding Love, Peace, and Happiness in Life.  Make it so!

An Old Cherokee Tale:

One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is Evil.  It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: ‘Which wolf wins?’

The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one you feed.’

Music to drive it Home:

Blueprints for Butterflies offers Intuitive & Spiritual Life Coaching.   We are a husband/wife team who specialize in crisis situations as well as PTSD, depression, Parental Alienation Syndrome, and abuse situations. Please e-mail us at blueprintsforbutterflies@gmail.com for more information.

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