Last night as I was sleeping, I dreamt that I had a beehive within my heart, and the golden bees were making white combs and sweet honey from all of my bitter disappointments.
~ Antonio Machado
There is an Art to Life and living if we Learn how to Live it the right way, from the inside out instead of from the outside in. It requires the willingness to open our mind and heart to our own unique, Creative Gifts. But, more importantly, it allows us the Freedom to detach ourselves from the matrix of boxes and squares and find that the Gift of Creation is actually Beautifully chaotic. We become attached to all kinds of unhealthy ideas of what we think we need to be happy but if we look deep withIN we find that what we think we need is mostly of a material, addictive, and external nature. Everything is upside down in the Beautifully chaotic rabbit hole and we often perceive this chaos as our Lives “falling apart”.
The Rabbit Hole
There’s terms for this state of being and several come to mind – rock bottom, identity crisis, coming of age, depression, and/or finding the Spirit withIN (which will crack you wide open but that’s another article). What we learn about Love is backwards in most cases which is ironic because we ARE Love, in its purest form. The catch, the experiment if you will, was and is to truly find out what it means to be separate and opposite of our true nature which is Love. The polarity is that Love and hate (fear) are like oil and water so when they interact on an energetic and emotional level we find the chaos, the allergic reaction if you will. This the dark place, the inky black energy of the Aether, and the rock bottom. But, it’s also the biggest Gift and our greatest opportunity to find a Creative “spark”…the way “out”.
Even in our darkest and most painful hour, we always have a choice. It’s just harder to make that choice when we are in an emotional state of change because change can feel like we’re losing something. To take it a step further, this dying off of the old to make room for the new can sometimes give us the perception of feeling like we can’t go on but it’s really the stale and toxic energy dying, not our Life Force! But, it so happens that we all have fears and when we go into fear we become less clear on what it is we’re looking for. From there….well, pack your bag because it’s time to take a trip and this trip is no vacation rather a tumultuous and bumpy ride ultimately leading you to the very same destination! So, we have to ask ourselves, do we want to take the private jet or pull the rickshaw with all its baggage to get where we need to go?
Emotions don’t make sense all the time. It doesn’t matter “why?” because we all have our own unique and creative way of processing, perceiving, and evaluating our own experiences. The best recipe for emotional chaos is to simplify which ultimately brings us to our own objectivity. We can simplify our emotions into 2 categories, Love or fear. If you’re not feeling well this will simply tell you everything you need to know. It means it’s time to clear out the suitcase and make room for something new, something Good – even if it feels upside down (you’re in the rabbit hole, remember?).
The Big Move
First, it helps to know that we’ve done this before even if we forgot how. But, when we’re Creating we’re also changing, morphing, evolving, and moving energy – the emotional kind of energy that comes with great weight which is why it’s called EnLightenment. We’re Lightening our emotional load and unpacking our emotional baggage in order to replace it with more of what our Heart and Soul essence is searching for…. the longing for change and the fear that comes with it. My son used to say “it’s bark” when he was little instead of voicing the dark but it exists and we have to not only face it but go through it. Don’t be scared, though, because the darkness is also the Aether which is the spiritual energy of Creation. The Aehter is the “place” where Miracles are born, Lives are forever changed, and something can come from “nothing”. The nothingness is still energy because there is no such thing as nothing. For example, if we make a decision to wait or stand still it’s still a decision, even if it’s temporary. In the Heartfelt stillness we find the Creative spark we need to set our Universe Afire giving permission for those around us to do the same. To make the big move we have to realize that it’s a 2 step process. First, we find the fearful energy looking to be released, and most of us have an awareness of our fears even if we’re unsure how to process them and/or persuade then to move out. The key is realizing that we need something to replace the fear with and this is the process that we don’t necessarily like so much because it’s uncomfortable at best.
The reason it’s so hard to move is because we don’t always support the Universe in supporting us by focusing on the “what if’s” instead of the Miracles. Due to societal, familial, and/or religious perceptions we tend to focus on what we can’t do instead of what we can, what can go wrong instead of what can go right, and what other people think instead of listening to the beat of our own Heart. If we stand still we think we’re doing something “wrong” but it takes great Courage, discipline, and a unique kind of “energy” to be patient and wait for the answers to come instead of fearfully grasping at straws just to make a decision, even if it’s the wrong decision. We’re creatures of habit and instant gratification forgetting often that we are Infinite BEings. This is where we get “stuck” going round and round trying to solve fearful problems with the same mentality that created them…more fear. Solving fear with fear is the proverbial insanity of banging our heads against the wall until we have a “concussion” and can’t think straight at all anymore.
Grab a Pallette
Our rock bottom, uncomfortable, rage of discontentment is ultimately telling us everything we need to know about what’s not “working” in our Lives. We may not like what we see when we look in the mirror at some of the fearful, desperate decisions we’ve made but to undo the “damage” we have to go through the darkness in order to see the Light. The pain of our discontent and anger is the perfect indicator that we are settling for less than what our Heart is telling us we are Worthy of, withIN and without. We may not like the landscape or the paint we’ve thrown on the canvas but we can change it, move it, enhance it, and color it in. When we survive our “mistakes” we find we long for a more Joyful, meaningful, enriching, experiential kind of Life that is almost impossible to find as long as we’re thinking that what we want for ourselves is out of our reach. And, let’s be honest, our demons aren’t very easy to look at which is why they like to lurk just beyond the periphery of our vision. The ego operates like a secret agent in stealth mode invoking the turbulence of our fear. But, we have something the “ego” doesn’t – we have our Light. Darkness is only a blank canvass and the absence of color. Our Light contains every color imaginable, every possible outcome, and every Loving relationship we ever hope to attract.
Creating something *NEW* is the best way to release emotional baggage and re-color our Lives into something we can’t wait to look at in the mirror. Life is supposed to be FUN and rewarding, especially when we make the choice to embody our Art of Life and all its endless, beautifully chaotic possibilities. When we release our fears and Listen to our Heart we find our Gifts withIN – the color, the magic, the eye of the photographer, the voice of an angel, the dancer in all her Grace and Beauty, the yogi who knows stillness is a feat, the words to uplift and empower, the essence of our very BEing. The Dreamer’s dream comes to Life before our very eyes and it mirrors back to us all that we truly are. Beautiful Beings of Light and Love who have the power to transcend every dark and fearful thing with our unique and colorful Creator spark in the darkness of the Aether.
Music to drive it Home: Keep Your Head Up ~ Andy Grammer
Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.
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