The Ties That Bind – Releasing Toxic Relationships

By Jennifer Deisher

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all barriers within yourself that you have built against it” ~ Rumi

Toxic relationships come in all forms and can be detrimental in so many ways, but they also offer the greatest opportunity for growth and learning. It’s within the mindset of growth that we can begin to navigate and resolve relationship toxicity issues in order to release and move on. This can be a very difficult thing to accomplish since the toxicity is much like a drop of ink that spoils the entire well, leaving a cellular toxicity, much like an allergic reaction, to this kind of abusive relationship. The poisoning of the well leaves us feeling “tainted” and eventually leaves behind a continuous cycle of grief in the emotions of denial, bargaining, anger, and pain – a cycle that can never lead to the Acceptance we seek in the form of Unconditional Love.

In the big picture, no one has “permission” to bring toxicity into our energy field unless we allow it. However, sometimes the toxicity sets in on a cellular level when this kind of relationship is born in childhood, before we have earliest memories or have even learned to communicate in some cases. It can become a challenge, learning to separate one’s own “energy” from the energy of the poisonous relationship, so it’s important to have insight into how to let go and/or navigate the relationship in a new and different way.

The Cycle of Toxicity

If one has never experienced Unconditional Love on an energetic level then one can become easily fooled into thinking they have found “love”, but oftentimes find it to be quite the opposite leaving behind a feeling of guilt or shame or fear, coupled with a feeling of being “unlovable”. This becomes especially apparent when one has suffered from some sort of abuse in childhood and never experienced the emotion of Unconditional Love. How can one know if we’ve truly found something we’ve never experienced?

Our relationships are a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves – our own Self Worth – and when we vacillate between toxicity and “love” we truly find ourselves in an unhealthy situation. The toxicity shows up in the form of hostility, aggression, conflicts, quarrels, judgement, and criticism among other things. The Clarity that we tend to find in these type of relationships typically comes in the form of the negativity it brings rather than a Positive, Loving outcome. Like a junkie seeking heroin, we find ourselves in an addictive situation alternating between the high when things are going well and the low when the shit hits the fan.

Many times we finds ourselves trying to “fix” and/or communicate with the other person, all while defending oneself against the “judgement” the relationship brings on – both judgement from the other person and judgement of Self for being in that situation in the first place. Usually both parties who participate in these relationships bring a great deal of emotional deflection and projection, meaning that they project their emotions onto the other person when these emotions are actually coming from Self. This pattern is ironic as they typically also deflect or are in denial of the very emotions they are projecting onto the other person. It’s a truly ruthless cycle to break.

These relationships are indeed a great distraction from focusing on Self and finding the painfully missing piece one lacks withIN. One has to be willing to seek awareness of and identify with their own patterns, in order to Heal and become Whole. We have to remember that there are other addictions besides “substances”, and just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s good for us.

It Starts Within

Forgiveness is key in any relationship that has had turmoil or is “ending”. However, just because we have found the Art of Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean we can continue to indulge in the relationship without being vulnerable, much like mixing oil and vinegar. First, we have to recognize that which we are bringing to the table and learn to separate it from what the other person is bringing. Next, we have to realize that we are ALL worthy of Unconditional Love, and if the relationship is energetically toxic we may have no other choice but to walk away with Love and Gratitude in our Hearts.

The key is a deep understanding that sometimes we don’t get to have the relationships we were always hoping for with certain people in our Lives, but we experience them for a reason.

In order to manifest Unconditional Love into our Lives we have to be willing to receive it, no matter what form it takes. Frequently, when we cannot make a relationship work the way we want, we tend to think of the relationship and ourselves as having “failed” at Love. This is just a matter of perspective and can be shifted if we Allow ourselves to release all conditions and expectations in the relationship, while looking at the relationship as an opportunity to remove the blocks that keep us from finding Unconditional Love, specifically in the form we are looking for.

Everything we seek to find can be found withIN so it’s important to create boundaries, both energetically and otherwise. Remember, no ONE can hurt you emotionally without your permission so it’s essential to separate oneself with Intention. This can be done by declaring to Self that this person no longer has your permission to speak or act a certain way since they do not have your best interests at Heart; this declaration should also be done on a Spiritual level and/or in meditation etc.

Intending a separation of energy is crucial because the way the toxicity presents itself is usually a very chronic process whereas our Awareness of the situation becomes clouded slowly. This is confusing because although the relationship tends to start off as seemingly Happy it progressively becomes unmanageable, leaving one wondering when and where things went “wrong”. This is precisely the reason why continuing to indulge one’s SELF in the negativity cannot possibly bring the Loving relationship that you seek.

In the Art of Bushido a true “warrior” is asked to find Gratitude when a weakness is exposed, as it gives them an Opportunity to reinforce their armor, if you will. A toxic relationship is where we find the same kind of opportunity for Gratitude and Growth. But we must remove our own energy from the energy of the poisonous interaction, and change it, in order to release the ties that bind.

Remember, we are all Worthy of Loving and Healthy relationships. Wherever you find yourself in your relationships today, please Remember that you are so very Beautiful, Worthy, and Loved.

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

Empathy and Ubuntu ~ a Philosophy for a New Humanity

Ubuntu-Empathy-the-New-Paradigm-for-HumanityBy Jennifer Deisher

Contributing Writer for Wake Up World

Here we are on our beautiful blue green planet, travelling through time and space, hurtling toward infinity. Whether we realize it or not, we are united by our humanity.

As we each begin to flow into our spiritual journey, we become aware of a consciousness beyond our rational 3D comprehension. We begin to question everything we think we know about life and reality. We de-construct the illusions around us, and come to a new understanding of our place in the universe and beyond. And this new awareness is both liberating and extremely confronting, all at the same time.

Perhaps things are not quite what they seem.

The Hierarchy of Needs

We can understand our most basic human needs, and also our higher spiritual needs, through the psychological tool known as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs [i]. The bottom of the triangle represents our most basic physiological needs and the top represents our own Self-actualization or Self-awareness (which, not surprisingly, is represented by the “all-seeing eye” at the top of the proverbial pyramid.

A common belief is that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, and that our full potential is realized through the practices of love and empathy, and the Ubuntu philosophy. And that’s true! But we can’t ever forget that we are also human too. We have simple biological and emotional needs – such as food, water, and a sense of safety – that must be met in order for our very survival, and although there are a handful of spiritual ‘leaders’ in history who were synonymous with fasting and poverty, for most of us, we can’t even begin to understand our potential for Self-actualization or Ascension until those basic needs are met.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

So as messengers of a new paradigm, our challenge is not just to focus on the development of ‘higher’ personal aspects such as creativity, self-esteem and self-love, but to embrace and support those whose basic (and therefore spiritual) needs are not fulfilled, and help them create the sense of security and belonging they need as stepping stones to self-actualization.

Rainbow Day of Love

My friend, Deb Augenbaugh, decided to do just that when she recently started the non-profit organization Rainbow Day of Love to help feed the homeless population in her home town of Denver, Colorado. My husband, Aaron, and I had the honor of volunteering with her start-up organization this summer, and what we learned was a real lesson on our spiritual journey.

We came out on a Sunday morning to serve breakfast and as soon as breakfast was finished the group immediately formed another line for the next meal. Lesson #1: The sense of insecurity associated with unfulfilled physiological needs is ever-present, and does not go away with just one full belly. The tragedy of this situation is that these peoples’ lives are being spent trying to provide for their most basic physiological needs – quite symbolically, at the very bottom of the pyramid. In other words, they spend the whole day meeting the physiological needs of food, water, and shelter, while the rest of us take such necessities for granted and, as a society, waste the very resources these people so desperately need access to.

That Sunday morning, we struck up a chat with some people after breakfast and heard so many personal stories – war veterans, parents, college graduates – all who have experienced great hardship but are still living to tell their stories. Lesson #2: Survival instincts are hard-wired into our biology, including own need for safety. We each share the same primal instinct to live, and it’s a most natural response to do what we need to do in challenging circumstances in order to meet our most basic physiological needs. And although we may at one time be surrounded by friendship, safety and self-confidence in our lives, our physiological and safety needs that begin to go unfulfilled (whatever the circumstances) directly impact our sense of self and belonging.

Lesson #3: When we let people know that they are valued with something as simple as as smile or a hug or a question, the uplifting affect that loving connection has on their life-force (and yours) is both visible and immediate, sending ripples out into conscious universe.

A Collective Problem

As spiritual messengers and spiritual beings, we cannot speak of empathy if we are seemingly at a level of Self-actualization looking “down” at the reality of others, and dismissing their difficult experience as “creating their own reality”. But in truth, this limited perception is not based on reason or actual experience. We are ALL creating our own reality – and that creation includes a social hierarchy which is competitive by design, and therefore exclusive (to some) by result. If we – humanity – are to ascend to a new way of living, the only way to do that is TOGETHER. And yet our collective tendency is ignore their situation, and in big cities, even step over them in the street. We look to governments to “solve the unemployment problem”, which is an inherent part of our economic structure, and moan about the takers from the “welfare state”.

Not exactly conducive to a sense of safety and belonging, is it?

In reality, the majority of people living in poverty are – like the rest of us – incredibly intelligent, talented, creative and often educated people who have contributed to society, and who today are forced to use their talents and creativity just to sustain life; to survive. And that’s part of the “tragedy” – with basic needs met, their intelligence and creativity could be an amazing asset to our society! But while our society’s focus remains competitive not communal, a sense of belonging and self-realization takes a back-seat to the necessities of life for many people, and our spiritual life-force continues to vibrate on “survival” mode. While people are held by poverty at this base level of awareness, there is little room in their reality for other forms of safety, love, esteem, or self-actualization.

As enlightened beings, we have to be willing to see through the rationalizations of “the homeless problem” and our fears and misconceptions of “the homeless”, and begin to see that they too are spiritual beings who are desperately in need of our love, understanding and support.

The Empathy Card

Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Science is finally beginning to understand what many of us have always known; that we humans are soft wired with empathy [ii]. It’s in our genetics. When we say “soft wired” it means that it isn’t a reflex like a knee jerk or a flight-fight response, rather it’s up to us to consciously exercise and utilize our empathy ‘muscle’ so we can gain a better understanding of our collective journey.

The second of the Seven Universal Laws, the immutable Law of Correspondence, tells us “As above, so below; as below, so above”. [iii] This means that we have an individual journey and a collective journey, and they are interconnected and correspond with one another in infinite synchronicity; that our outer world reflects to us our inner world; that what we choose within, we choose without.

Will you choose empathy and compassion? Or judgment and inaction?

We cannot consider ourselves a compassionate, intelligent, creative race of people until we change our relationship with homelessness and poverty in our society, and on our planet. There is certainly plenty to go around. According to http://www.worldhunger.org [iv]

The world produces enough food to feed everyone. World agriculture produces 17 percent more calories per person today than it did 30 years ago, despite a 70 percent population increase. This is enough to provide everyone in the world with at least 2,720 kilocalories (kcal) per person per day  according to the most recent estimate that we could find (FAO 2002, p.9). The principal problem is that many people in the world do not have sufficient land to grow, or income to purchase, enough food.

Harmful economic systems are the principal cause of poverty and hunger… Essentially control over resources and income is based on military, political and economic power that typically ends up in the hands of a minority, who live well, while those at the bottom barely survive, if they do.

As we confront the reality of increasingly harmful economic systems and government priorities, the social and spiritual inequity embedded in our social systems can seem near-impossible to overcome.

But it isn’t.

Real, lasting social change begins as an impossible creative spark in our hearts and minds, and manifests in our society from the ground up.

not-yet

Don’t Believe It’s Possible?

For those who believe homelessness is an unsolvable inevitability, take note. Since 2005, Utah has reduced homelessness by 74 percent and is on-track to end homelessness by 2015. [v]

How did they do this? Simple. They gave homeless people homes.

Why? Because it makes good sense, even in our competitive economy-driven society.

The obvious benefit is that, by satisfying the physiological and safety needs of marginalized people, they can begin to focus on ‘higher’ needs and rebuild their sense of esteem and belonging. But from a purely economic standpoint, providing permanent housing for the homeless is not only more humane than our system of competition and criminalization – it’s cheaper. [vi]

Utah policy makers realized that the annual cost of hospital and prison stays for homeless people was around $16,670 per person, compared to $11,000 annually to provide each homeless person with an apartment and a social worker. So the state of Utah addressed the basis of homelessness by giving away apartments, and assigning case-workers, as part of the state’s new Housing First program. As a result, Utah is saving money overall, while allowing all residence access to shelter and safety, a place from which other needs can begin to be met.

So far, the program has proven so successful that other states are modelling future programs on Utah’s success… and all it took was some clear, creative and compassionate thinking.

The Essence of Ubuntu

Ubuntu is a philosophy originating in Southern African that means literally “human-ness” or “humanity”. The term is used to represent a humanist philosophy or ideology, known as Ubuntuism, which is based on the universal bond of sharing that connects all of humanity. In our society, which institutionalizes competition instead of co-operation, this idea can seem like quite a paradigm shift. But Ubuntu is more than just a lovely idea, it is the communal foundation on which many cultures are built, ensuring the base needs of all individuals are met and freeing them up to pursue ‘higher’ needs of creativity, problem solving and self-realization.

As consciously evolving beings, we understand that we lift ourselves by lifting others, and that we can’t begin to uplift our world and our planet if we are personally unwilling to empathize with and empower the people who are most marginalized, and whose connection to Self and Source is most hampered by circumstance. When we add the Ubuntu philosophy into the mix, along with our pyramid of needs, we see the much bigger picture. It is about more than just empathy from afar. Instead of just looking at our reality from our individual, albeit empathetic perspective, we must acknowledge our connectedness – that “I am because we are” – and be guided by that knowledge into actions that reflect it back to us. “As above, so below”.

I came across this quote from Shakespeare the other day which says it perfectly: “Fatigue makes cowards of us all”.

We have been riding this wave of ascension for some time now, shining light into the shadows… and many of us are tired. But now isn’t the time to rest. Our collective awareness is expanding, and momentum is gathering.

When you feel that fatigue, look for motivation to those living lives of poverty and uncertainty, whose entire being revolves around providing their most basic needs for survival – and consider the kind of fatigue that comes with that. When you feel that tired feeling that all “conscious warriors” feel at one time or another, remember that “I am because we are”… remember the power you have to generate positive ripples of change, starting with your immediate world… remember that the spiritual ascension of humanity is a collective process… and remember that we don’t just begin to heal others through altruism, we begin to heal our society as well as those pieces of our Self that are asking to be seen through our mirror of experience.

Then, from this compassionate and open place, we can begin to find new ways to fulfill, uplift, and inspire one another – to “enlighten” each other in the truest sense. We can begin to hear each other and meet each other’s gaze, get to know what makes each other tick. We can begin to fulfill each other’s most basic, fundamental, physiological needs, and ultimately overcome the unnecessary suffering of poverty and homelessness – without waiting for our failing, unprincipled governments to do it for us.

So, next time your paths cross with a brother or sister in need, it may be time to see if you can get to know them a little better, and see what makes them tick. Homeless people don’t need our advice on how to get a job; they need food and safety, and a connection to others – the very first steps toward self-realization. But more importantly, they (and we) need a new social system; one that reflects our human oneness and better serves and reflects our commUnity. And in creating that new social model, the perspective of those homeless and disenfranchised people who live on the edges of our current system is invaluable.

We all have a very significant role to play in the conscious evolution of our planet. We have the capacity to break the pattern of our “reality” as we know it, and leave a legacy of love and inclusion for our children, and their children. But first, we must change the way humanity feels about itself, and to do that, we must be able to look ourselves in the mirror and see our shared humanity reflected back at us.

References:

[i] ‘Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs’ is a theory proposed by psychologist Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper “A Theory of Human Motivation“.

[ii] Ted Talks: “Jeremy Rifkin on the Empathic Civilization

[iii] Tania Kotsos: “The Seven Universal Laws Explained

[iv] http://www.worldhunger.org: “World Hunger Facts

[v] http://www.nationswell.com: “Utah Is on Track to End Homelessness by 2015 With This One Simple Idea

[vi] “Homes Not Handcuffs: The Criminalization of Homelessness in U.S. Cities” – a Report by The National Law Center on Homelessness & Poverty and The National Coalition for the Homeless

 

This article adapted for Wake Up World by Andy Whiteley.

Basketweaving 101~ Weaving Happiness into our Vibration

basketweaving

Happiness is a factor of Life and one well worth striving for.  It’s a necessary component for us to completely embark on a spiritual path.  Our heart, soul, and spirit don’t live in the energy of “not good enough”, or where there isn’t enough time, or in our negative energy.  Let’s face it, some of us have had our fair share of addiction, trauma, and tragedy.  Those who have experienced some of the more “hard core” issues, or are currently working through them, may find that sometimes we have to work a little harder to find our Joy.

Many of us have experienced the fallout of what we sometimes call “the matrix”.  I prefer to think of it as limited patterns of controlling behavior which constricts our true power as creators because we think we have a limited amount of choices.  What we forget sometimes is that we actually have to learn or re-learn how to be Happy.  Many people are experiencing spiritual awakening or are in a deep emotional process of acceptance and release, or both.  The key is realizing that it doesn’t all just happen overnight.  We (typically) don’t just wake up to a massive pot of gold at the end of a rainbow one sunny morning, especially if we’ve had trauma, abuse, or addiction in our past.  Basically, happiness is a more natural state of being.  But, when we learn “misery” and limitation in its place, it also makes sense that we may have to learn how to be happy again.  To go even further, we may have to learn how to be happy for the very first time…ever!

Our fears, traumas, abuse, and addictions leave us feeling pretty crappy – it’s true.  It’s not necessarily something we embrace in the spiritual community of “love and light” but it doesn’t make the emotion any less real.  Sometimes the crappy feeling takes over our mind and body to such an extent that it takes great heart and soul effort to overcome them in an emotionally healthy way.  We all have (what we’ll call) “baskets” that we use for our emotions but this can also be detrimental to our recovery if we have one basket in which we place all of our emotions.  For example, if someone has an addiction which has had a very negative effect on their life, they may have an emotional basket labeled “addiction”.  Even when the person has freed themselves from their addiction they continue to carry around the addiction basket.  The anonymous programming of organizations like AA encourage people to carry this addiction basket around with them every day and it then becomes a foundation for all of the emotional baggage in life.  That means that whenever something feels off or wrong in life we can always put it in the “addiction” basket even though “what’s wrong” may have nothing to do with the addiction.  One day we wake up and find that we have chronically created a scapegoat for all that is wrong in our world and we’ve managed to fit it into one (very limited) “basket”.  The basket could be an abusive parent, an untrustworthy relationship, a deep seated fear, or even a financial “issue”.  From there, we tend to take everything we view as being “wrong” and put it into our trauma basket thereby giving our power away to our perception of this one issue as we continue to let it control our lives via our “negative” (uncomfortable) emotions.

d0d04af17343092ca6a5e4a9d15a4ac5Once we have created a basket for our negative experiences, it becomes a habitual pattern to continue to pile more negative experiences into our trauma basket.  What we sometimes fail to understand is that when we are constantly in a place of re-living our negative experiences we are also, however inadvertently, creating more negative experiences.  From here, it gets a little more difficult to find acceptance until we lay down our basket or weave a new one.  It helps to recognize that happiness is actually a learned behavior.  If we’ve been taught in some way to be miserable we can also learn how to be happy instead.  First of all, the fears, traumas, addiction, abandonment, etc. will still be there for a “minute” – regardless of whether or not we choose to focus on it.  It’s a part of our life experience so it never fully “leaves” us but our perception of it, the emotions around it, and whether or not we chose to let it define us can change, will change… if we allow it.  When we’re in the process of Healing from our afflictions, we are really coming to a place of learning to validate and appreciate those feelings which sees us not able to run away from them.  We actually have to allow ourselves to grieve in a healthy way but the emotions may cause us to have looping thoughts that revolve around our basket of misery.  This is when neuroplasticity or changing our mental focus plays a great role in overcoming traumatic experiences in order to Heal.  In these situations we have to learn to focus on our mental focus and find a way to weave happy, loving, blissful experiences into our basket at the same time.  Sometimes we find ourselves having to reach for these Happy experiences because we may not have very many of them or we forgot how it feels to be in a peaceful emotional place.  However, if we focus on happy experiences (past, present, or future) it takes us away from the tunnel vision of solely focusing on the trauma.

When we re-live our negative, addictive, traumatic experiences over and over again we have a harder time “snapping out of it” so to speak.  That’s not to say the issues aren’t real but we also have to focus on more positive experiences first before we begin to see them manifest into our physical reality.  At the same time, when we’re so deeply focused on the trauma we may not see any positivity in our lives even though it may be there in force.  What that ultimately comes down to is what we choose to focus on, our perspective, and whether we’re placing emphasis on a loving, positive, happy perspective or we place our spotlight on the fear, anxiety, and tragedy of the trauma.  This is the part we have to “work” at because our patterned emotions also want to remain, almost like its own “parasitic” energy.  It (truly) takes work to re-train our mental focus, especially when we are uncomfortable in our mind, body, and spirit.  This is where neuroplasticity comes in or “focus on our mental focus”.

60526c9a725effaf3c418ed87a24fc30In my article, Quantum Mechanics of the Soul, I wrote about behavioral patterns and how our awareness of our own patterns changes how we interact with them.  This means that just by being aware of our trauma basket we can begin to change how it affects us.   Therefore, our conscious awareness of the “problem” shows the Universe our intention of Healing from said “problem” which is the first step in the process, recognition.  From here we can begin to consciously interact with the emotions which is when we can shake them out and put them back again in a more positive way.  We’ve also determined that some of us have to “work” a little harder to find those happy, lighter, more loving emotions.  And, that’s okay – actually VERY normal when we are in “distress”!  A great way focus on our mental focus is an exercise I call “Emotional Imagination”.  We’re quite used to hearing that “thoughts create things” and that’s true….to an extent.  The real key to creating with the Law of Attraction is using our Emotional Imagination.  This is when we’re planning our Happiness in the form of a dream vacation, a purposeful job, a prosperous future, a loving relationship, our kid’s gifted accomplishments, a healthy support system, good weather, the perfect friendship, making a mind/body connection, and on and on we go.  As we Emotionally Imagine these memories it’s like a wave of Happiness washing up on our beach of “misery”.  Emotional Imagination is emotionally focusing on how we want to Feel instead of focusing on the “crappy” feeling, but it’s also really Allowing ourselves the opportunity to Feel Good.  The wave loosens the little, irritating grains of sand (what I call “ninja demons”) and it’s up to us to re-integrate these grains of sand on our beach as we let go of the “shock and awe” around our negative experience and embrace our Happiness in its wake. We’re creating the most beautiful sea glass, loosening and smoothing our sharp, jagged traumas until we are no longer giving them our energy….AT ALL!  And, we get to go to the most Amazing places while we weave a new basket into a new reality and a new (trauma-free) Life.

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

OM Times – August Edition

 

Check out my article “Learning from the Shadow Within” featured on the cover of OM Times Magazine with Erich von Däniken.  Very Exciting! http://www.editions.omtimes.com/magazine/2014-08-b/index.html

The article is on page 94 or here is a direct link: Into the Deep – Learning from the Shadow Within

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

 

 

Stop, Look, and Listen: Healing a Society in Denial


Stop, Look and Listen - a Society in Denial

By Jennifer Deisher

 

Beliefs can become patterns if you hold them long enough. People don’t like to have their belief systems challenged as sometimes they are the very foundation used to “survive”, emotionally speaking. Today, something is obviously not working, yet we still struggle with the idea of confronting and releasing our old conditioning and beliefs, healing, and making real change.

At this point in humanity’s history it seems that there are many who are desperately hanging on to an antiquated social belief system, many aspects of which they don’t even realize exist or affect them. Our social programming goes very, very deep; it is attached to our sense of Value, and Self. And it is in the shedding of this outdated programming that we find the ability to expand on the Heart and our relationship with Self, and know what is best for each of us individually, and authentically.

I see people everywhere who are beginning to awaken to the world around them and, as much as I try to avoid labels, many experiencing a kind of ‘Stockholm Syndrome’; the psychological state of identifying with one’s “oppressor”, in whatever form that oppressor takes. It could be in the form of a physically or emotionally abusive relationship, or addiction. It could be the controlling societal conditioning we have been subjected to or the lip service we’ve accepted from our “governments” who falsely tell us they have our best interests at Heart. It may be any any imposing influence that leave us feeling “less than” in some way.

It takes a great deal of resilience to be Awake in this world; we see an apparent lack of integrity almost everywhere we look, and it can be difficult to maintain a sense of clarity in among all the confusion, the dichotomy, as we try to talk and walk two different paths. We hear our “leaders” speak of integrity and priorities on a daily basis, yet we watch as people struggle in poverty and hunger, and wars are started in our names. And rather than admit this abuse, a failing of the status quo, many still protect and defend it, and mock those who threaten it.

Where is the integrity in their words? And where is the integrity in our actions? 

 

The Demon of Denial

What we lack, as a society and a species, is acceptance and accountability. Collectively speaking, we are still in denial. As Einstein said “we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used to create them” and until we – including our leaders – acknowledge that this isn’t working, we’re stuck with the old way of thinking.

If we take a moment to reflect honestly on our Life we will see where our most deep seated fears have come to fruition, either in their physical reality or by living in it in the first place. By the same token, we will see where our deepest and most Loving desires have also come forth into our realities. When we allow ourselves, we find the answers within; we understand our bigger picture.

But on the whole, we are quite busy Living in the “demon” of denial. It is a difficult thing to go withIN and find Accountability for our own collective ills when we have been taught to accept judgement and social inequality as normal, to the point that many don’t even realize they’re even seeing it, or doing it. A dangerous dynamic is playing out around us, and all it takes is a willingness to open the mind and the Heart and consider a new perspective to see it. But many would rather stick to the program, and even defend and justify it, because it’s more comfortable and familiar than the idea that we have been lied to.

It may feel like threading the eye of a needle. But the truth is, we have ALL the Power. We Always have… and that itself can be a tough pill to swallow at first. We have accepted less for so long.

But resentments are dangerous things. They don’t lead anywhere positive, rather they take us on a long and treacherous journey into the dark side of the Soul. In order to Create something New we have to stop pointing fingers and placing blame and guilt where it doesn’t belong. When one lives in guilt, blame, and resentment it is not Living at all. There is no Creative energy in this place, no air, no place to go. There is no guilt or blame in ‘the bigger picture’. Energetically we are just playing out our collective programming, and the sooner we release that programming and fill the space with Love, the sooner we can begin to Thrive and Grow into our authentic Self, both individually and collectively.

Through the Eye of the Needle

In order to fit through the eye of the needle and release the old programming, it begins with realizing its existence in the first place.

We are deeply in denial, a society that doesn’t acknowledge its accountability – for systematically destroying one another and our planet in the name of progress, money, religion, and oil. Even after looking down the Rabbit Hole, I have trouble wrapping my head around the extent of it – kids being shot at school, war (especially “holy war”?), bullying, hunger, poverty, ecocide, banking scandals, mismanagement of funds, the withholding of our Constitutional Rights to Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness… The list goes on. Yet most people go on and on about their daily business not once thinking to stop and question what’s happening around them.

Instead we look to the same systems that harms us in the first place, for an endless supply of “fix it” remedies, solutions, distractions and comforts. All we have to do is look around to see something is very wrong and yet we deny it, put our heads back down, pretend it isn’t happening, and get back to “work”. Maybe “someone else” will fix it.

Personally, I’m going to set an example of transparency and accountability in my life. I haven’t lived the life of an Angel. I’ve run the gamut of all the things that are “wrong” with our society and it’s really hard to pick just one. I spent 6 years re-appropriating myself to “reality” after I was medicated to the edge of my Soul with anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medication, and pain killers. It nearly killed me. A doctor gave me a prescription once when I was supposedly “depressed” and it went from there, as more and more pills were added to the mix so that I could “function”. The pharmaceutical industry was making bank while I was so medicated I could barely function, let alone Live as the Divine woman and mother my Spirit wants me to be.

Stop Look and Listen - Society in DenialWhen you’re IN it, you can’t see it – and that is the True definition of “insanity”. Yet, here we are doing the same things over and over again, calling it “reality” and expecting a different outcome.  I don’t know about you but this isn’t the “reality” I choose for mySELF or my precious, intelligent, beautiful children.

The psychiatrists and medical industry has labeled every emotion as some sort of disorder and then convinced people to take a pill and it will all “go away”. But it doesn’t work that way. It just doesn’t. Nothing is that easy… but it is. Just not how we’re taught. It’s about the Human Connection and the Human Spirit. It’s about Loving each other through it and BEing IN it with each other, free from the judgement we have been conditioned to heap upon one another. We’re like children doing what we’re “told”, and what we’re being told to do is disconnect ourselves from the bigger picture while corporations and governments dictate every aspect of our very existence. It didn’t even start in our generation – this energy has been been playing out for centuries. But it’s time we take responsibility for our own Welfare and the Welfare of those around us. Today.

Stop, Look, and Listen

We can’t continue to prolong the inevitable. We reinforce these failing ideals onto our children and each other; a tiny little box of limited and antiquated ways of thinking. We are helping our kids onto a ride that we know is broken. The economy isn’t working. Our energy technology isn’t working. Government isn’t working. Our healthcare system is broken, especially when it comes to mental and emotional health. Our education system isn’t working. It’s 2014 and we’re still debating issues of poverty, environment and equality?

Is this the kind of world we want our children to grow up in?

When our society accepts only what is reported through a single medium, it causes tunnel vision! When money is privately controlled, the financial system has failed. When religions have cynically been robbed of their Spirituality, it’s time to reconsider where we put our faith. We have an elitist system and every single one of us is responsible, whether we are actively participating in it, being a knowing “victim” to it, or standing by and watching it happening without action.

until we can be Accountable for our situation we cannot change our thinking. Accountability starts from withIN by releasing the things that no longer serve us emotionally – resentments, anger, guilt, shame, and judgement just to name a few. But to really boil it down, there are only 2 emotions from which all emotions stem; fear and Love. And if you take the time to look withIN, honestly and with Love, it’s quite simple to tell the difference.

Go Home, go INside and Listen to our inner knowing in an Honest way. Make amends with ourselves and our immediate families. Heal and Listen and Care for one another. In order to become Accountable we have to become Self-Aware and we can’t do that amid endless distractions. Block out the distractions and question the propaganda. Face your denial with compassion. We have to find Peace and it starts from withIN.

The Heavens and the Earth are speaking to us in every moment. God is withIN and without meaning it comes from the inside out. Jesus taught it. Buddha taught it. Mandela taught it. Regardless of labels, all of great leaders, philosophers, and Spiritual teachers teach the same thing. We are the Creators and we are Creating this “reality” and will continue to do so as long as we deny the Truth. Unconditional Love is the only answer and it starts from withIN. To Love God is to Love SELF and Accept the hardship of those around you so we can Heal our planet and each other.

It is ALL of our responsibility to pick up where our government, economy, and healthcare systems are failing us. We are the ones we have been waiting for, so let’s swallow the jagged little pill and get on with it. There are no labels. There is no money. There is no judgement. There is only Home and Heart. Peace and Love. Compassion and Empathy. The Spirit is here and it Lives withIN each and every ONE of us, and our planet. It is the only Home any of us know.

Have the courage of Heart to see and hear what may BE uncomfortable. Ultimately, the Truth is a Beautiful Gift to receive. It is only our authentic Emotional experiences and insights that will help us Unite and Heal our wounded Hearts.

I Love you all so very much and look forward to our making it through the Eye of the Needle together.

In Love and Unity,

Jennifer

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

Healing the Trauma Drama

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By Jennifer Deisher

Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience, and when this happens we often take an emotional “snapshot” of this moment, living and re-living this detrimental emotional experience. As exhausting as this can be, it is here that we will find a great Key of transcendence – it allows us to look a little further withIN that trauma, and release some of the deeper social, psychological, and spiritual “programming” from separation and judgement. This process is especially important when we feel separated from Self; when we judge our own underlying emotions that stem from our trauma.

We never need to look any further than right Here – where YOU are. When an underlying trauma leaves us feeling discontent with others or society, it is withIN that we find all the answers we need. As a matter of fact, our answers are coded right into our DNA.

We’ve all experienced something “negative” in our Lives, whether it be in a physical, psychological (mental), emotional, or spiritual aspect. One of the most common experiences is the perception of abandonment, because at a higher level, we are ALL experiencing a newer awareness – including that of separation. As spiritual beings having a human experience, we are Oneness, separated by form, and our increasing perception of this Truth is allowing us to uncover and heal the underlying trauma of separation.

The bottom line is this. If we haven’t made it ALL the way through our pain and found a Loving space for ourSelf on the other side, then we will continue to re-Create our energetic struggle. Over and over and round and round we go, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (the definition of “insanity”). When we learn to Overcome our trauma – by goingthrough what we are used to going around – we find Love for Self and a more complete Healing. We find acceptance, knowing that we can never be any less than whole, even as we experience the ‘separation’ of this Reality and the feelings of abandonment that can come with it. We make peace with our perfect imperfection.

The Only Way Out is Through

We learn, for the most part, that “God” resides somewhere outside of ourselves, dictating our Lives in some way, shape or form. But as we evolve, our preconceived ideas of what that means are literally being turned upside-down. We are seeing that we are the “God” of our own individual Universe, the Divine creators of our own Reality, shaped by our physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual bodies. We are realizing that “God” is our Higher Self – our connectedness – and putting our Trust and Faith into this realization. From here, we can see that the drama of our trauma doesn’t have to be so dramatic after all, as it’s leading us to the ultimate prize of release, letting go – Acceptance.

The most important thing to remember about dealing with trauma is that, at a fundamental level, we are searching for a way to have our Emotional needs met, in order to move on. We are ultimately trying to find a Safe emotional space where we can be comfortable with our experience and our emotions, and feel comfortable expressing them.

While we are in this process we must keep in mind that our emotional needs aren’t “unhealthy” – they are a Truth of this Reality – but we may be avoiding them, or trying to meet them in an “unhealthy” (and unsatisfying) way by doing harm to Self or others. This is a very common theme; we project these emotional needs onto others and expect them to fulfil us… which is, of course, quite impossible. It just sets us (and them) up for “failure”, which causes us (and them) to be traumatized all over again. The people in our lives can only provide a Loving support system while we work through our emotions.

Ultimately, Self is the only one who is experiencing Self’s emotions, so in order to Heal we must meet our OWN emotional needs. As we put our Trust and Faith in our Higher Self, we can begin to work with the damage and confusion on a more Spiritual level, which brings significantly more accessible results. When we begin to look withIN, we can begin to be Honest with ourselves about our emotional needs and how these needs effect our Lives in the bigger picture.

The Mirror of Perception

Every person and situation in our lives is a mirror. They reflect to us our perception of Reality, and the bigger picture of what we are trying to Learn about Self. This means what we love or hate or fear “out there”, or in another, is what we really love or hate or fear withIN. We wouldn’t know hate and/or fear if we didn’t have it in our possession, withIN.

Healing the Trauma Drama - The Mirror of PerceptionIn order to transcend the negativity we perceive “out there” we have to Love it into submission, right “in here”. Our seemingly negative emotions reflect an absence of the energy of Love, so in order to rid ourselves of them, we must LOVE them, shining a light on the Shadows within. From there, we begin to forget the negativity surrounding our trauma and can approach it from either a Loving standpoint or, even better, we can get to a place where we no longer put energy into it at ALL, as we (finally) move forward.

It takes great commitment and courage to face what one truly hates and/or fears withIN. These feelings are extremely uncomfortable. The illusion tells us that we are incomplete, fragmented, or broken but the Truth is that we can never be these things in Spirit. It’s only our judgment that tells us our emotions are “wrong”. But it’s from this place of great vulnerability that we find our greatest Strength. Heaven is a mindset and a way of BEing, rather than a place or an emotion that can be met by another. When we stop repeating our cycles of emotional trauma and projecting our emotions outwardly, we stop doing harm to ourselves and others, and create peace and safety withIN ourselves.

When we fill our Shadows with light, they all but disappear. 

Embracing a process of Healing opens up an emotional vastness that covers all ends of the spiritual and emotional spectrum. This is where we really begin to heal from the pain and trauma caused by this Reality. By understanding and Loving our entire spiritual and emotional body, we are able to Connect with Self and others in a most profound and expansive way. The Gift, and what makes it worth the process, is our own personal brand of Heaven that comes from withIN and then transforms our reality (without).

Jennifer Deisher is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and has been published on several Consciousness and Healing websites including Wake up World and OM Times Magazine.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.

The Trauma Drama

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We have entered a delicate emotional and spiritual space in our “evolution” and I’ve heard from many recently in regards to feeling like the deeper emotional issues are coming up AGAIN to be processed.  From here, many are re-Creating their own emotional “traumas” in an inadvertent way both individually and in the bigger societal picture.  The definition of trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience and when this happens we usually find an emotional “snapshot” which may leave our perceptions of this moment at great odds with the “reality” that we may still be living and re-living this detrimental emotional experience.  Exhaustively enough, it is “here” that we will find a great Key of transcendence if we allow ourselves to look a little further withIN to release some of the deeper social, psychological, and spiritual “programming” from separation and judgement.  This is especially important when we feel separated from Self because we are in judgment of our own underlying emotions that stem from the trauma or the not so conspicuous PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress “disorder”) that comes later which is actually a very NATURAL emotional response. When we find ourselves feeling discontent with others or societal influence due to underlying trauma or PTSD it is withIN that we find all the answers we need and, as a matter of fact, our answers are coded right into our DNA so we never need to look any further than right Here where YOU are.

We’ve all experienced something “negative” in our Lives whether it be in a physical, psychological (mental), emotional, or spiritual aspect.  One of the most common experiences is the perception of abandonment because we are ALL experiencing a newer awareness including that of separation as spiritual beings having a human experience. We learn, for the most part, the “God” resides somewhere outside of ourselves dictating our Lives in some way, shape, or form but the Truth is that we are the “God” of our own individual Universe which is shaped by our physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual bodies.  Our preconceived ideals of what that means have been literally turned upside-down by our societal beliefs and familial expectations. The bottom line is this – if we haven’t made it ALL the way through our PAIN and found a Loving space for Self on the other side then we will most likely continue to re-Create our struggle in order to completely Overcome it.  This results in finding Love for Self and a more complete Healing by going through what we may be used to going around.  Over and over and round and round we go until we find Acceptance and Resolution leading to the KNOWING that we can never be any less than Whole or Complete even as we are experiencing “separation” and the feeling of abandonment that comes with it.

For this exercise we must think of “God” as our Higher Self who only has our best interests at Heart and wants to see YOU succeed in all areas of Life on Earth.  In other words, we have to KNOW that Self wants what’s best for Self and be able to put our Trust and Faith into this realization.  From here, we can see that the drama of our trauma doesn’t have to be so dramatic after all as it’s leading us to the ultimate prize of release, letting go, or Acceptance (however you chose to look at it).  The most important thing to remember about the stress that comes with trauma and PTSD is that we are searching for a way to have our Emotional needs met in order to move on.  We are ultimately trying to find a Safe emotional space where we are comfortable with expressing the emotions the event brought on in the first place.  It’s a very typical thing to project these emotional needs onto others and expect them to fulfill us which is, unfortunately, quite impossible.  The problem with this is that the person we are expecting to meet these emotional needs is unable because they can’t possibly know what Self needs more than Self which sets us (and them) up for “failure” in almost every situation.  Ultimately, Self is the only one who is experiencing Self’s emotions and in order to Heal we must meet our OWN emotional needs but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a Loving support system around us when we work through it.

As we put our Trust and Faith in our Higher Self we can begin to work with the damage and confusion on a more Spiritual level which brings significantly more accessible results.  We can begin to be Honest with ourselves about what our emotional needs really are and how these “needs” are effecting our Lives in the bigger picture.  We must be willing to establish how and with whom we are going about having these emotional needs met.  While we are in this process we MUST keep in mind that our emotional needs aren’t necessarily “unhealthy” rather we may be going about meeting them in an “unhealthy” way by doing harm to Self or others.  This is a very common theme, especially of late, and what we call emotional projection meaning that we are projecting our emotions onto others in order to have them meet an emotional need they cannot possibly meet setting us/them up to disappoint which causes us to be “traumatized” all over again.  This is also where we feel as if we take 2 steps forward and one step back or consistently end up back at “square one” which, as we’ve learned, is the TRUE definition of “insanity” – doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

Every person and situation in our Lives is a mirror to the bigger picture of what we are trying to Learn about Self.  As we project our emotions and judgement onto others what we are really doing is asking Self to find Acceptance for the things we perceive as pissing us off or being “wrong” with the world or our relationships.  That’s certainly not to say there’s not some really negative energies out there but in order to transcend from the negativity we perceive “out there” we have to Love it into submission right “Here”.  This means what we “hate” or fear out there or in another is what we really hate or fear from withIN.  There’s nowhere to hide from this perception because we wouldn’t know hate and/or fear if we didn’t have it in our possession withIN.  These seemingly “negative” emotions are ALLERGIC to the energy of Love and in order to rid ourselves of them we must LOVE them from withIN.  From there, we begin to forget the negativity surrounding our trauma and can approach it from either a Loving standpoint or, even better, get to a place where we no longer put energy into it at ALL which is when it all but disappears as we (finally) move forward.

These epiphanies are uncomfortable and sometimes make us feel shame, guilt, or even “stupid” although it takes great commitment and courage to face what one truly hates and/or fears withIN.  It’s from this place of great vulnerability that we find our greatest Strength.  After all, this is when we Truly reach the rainbow bridge of emotionally imaginative Creation because we are in a Safe space where we aren’t doing “harm” onto others by way of our emotional projections.  Heaven on Earth is a mindset and a way of BEing rather than a place or an emotion that can be met by another from a projection because this IS part of the “illusion”.  The illusion tells us that we are incomplete, fragmented, or broken but the Truth is that we can never be these things in Spirit.  It’s only our judgment that tells us our emotions are “wrong” and our projection that tells us we need someone else to validate that the emotions are normal and healthy.  The safety comes when we no longer need this validation from others and find Love from withIN, even the parts of Self we think are “ugly”.  As most everything we Learned is upside-down, those who are reading this and embracing this process of Healing are opening up to a much deeper emotional vastness that covers all ends of the emotional and spiritual spectrum.  This means that by studying and making correction with our spiritual and emotional body we are able to Connect with Self and others in the most profound and expansive way.  From this end of the spectrum of pain, trauma, and PTSD to the other end of the spectrum of Love, Acceptance, and a Wholeness that comes from withIN.  This Loving Acceptance of Self is where we find our own personal brand of Heaven on Earth that comes from withIN and then begins to transform our reality (without).

If the writing inspires healing, please contact us for a private session or consider a donation as a healthy healing exchange.

Jennifer Deisher is a Wounded Healer and Spiritual Transformation Artist. She is the writer of the Moon Hippie Mystic blog and co-founder of  Blueprints For Butterflies with her husband, Aaron. She & Aaron founded Blueprints For Butterflies as a safe, loving space to assist others who are Awakening and Healing.  To book a private healing session or reading; please visit BlueprintsForButterflies.com or contact us at Blueprintsforbutterflies@gmail.com.  References available upon request.

AaronAaron Deisher has studied and practiced aspects of Earth Medicine for over 25 years. He’s a powerful Healer, spiritual & emotional Guide and psychic intuitive. His gift of logic and compassion provides an authentic connection with spirit and the universal field of consciousness. Aaron specializes in the art of human relationships and has the ability to interpret energy signatures and auric fields . He gently brings darkness to light by identifying and assisting with the release of toxic energy.   To book a private session, please visit BlueprintsForButterflies.com, click here or e-mail us at Blueprintsforbutterflies@gmail.com.  References available upon request.

Thank you for stopping by Blueprints for Butterflies!

Copyright © The Moon Hippie Mystic.  All rights reserved.  You may copy and distribute this material as long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete and you include this copyright notice.